Love is an always magic
by Filiola.Fauni
Summary: Cristina & Owen post season 9: "There's been too much between us to just turn it all off. I will always be your person, Cristina, and that cannot be broken up." Chapters 8 and 17 are M-Rated. English is not my native language. This is my very first fanfiction, please let me know what you think about it.
1. 5th March 2013

5th March

Cristina sat in Meredith's bed in her patient's room. Derek had gone home with Zola and Bailey was asleep in a crib near the bed.

"Richard is dead." Meredith stated.

"Yeah" Cristina hugged her.

"Mer, I… I think I need to talk about something. I know your thoughts are elsewhere but I really need to."

"Just tell me." Meredith raised her head to look her into the eyes.

"I broke up with Owen – again." She sighed.

"What? When?" Now it was Meredith's turn to hug Cristina.

"About two hours ago. I know he wants children and I cannot give him what he wants, what he needs."

"But you love him."

"I do. I think that's why I did it."

"You have changed."

"Did I?" Cristina looked at her questioningly.

"The old Cristina would have never put somebody else's feelings or needs on her own feelings or needs."

"Maybe I did not change enough." Cristina mused.

"What do you mean?"

"If I had changed enough maybe I would want a child now too – but I don't. Things would be so easy." She sighed again.

"But I want you to stay you. And I'm sure Owen wants you to stay yourself as well."

"I know."

"How did he react at all?"

"I didn't give him much time to react: I walked away. He's quite busy now with everything that happened this night."

"Richard…" Meredith voice cracked and she began to cry. Cristina held her close.

"Do you want me to sleep here?" Meredith nodded. Cristina put off her shoes and tried to get comfortable. She wondered how it would be like to see Owen the next time.


	2. 12th March - Love Is Such A Crazy Thing

12th March

Owen was wearing a black suit and tie. It was Richard's funeral and the priest just held his speech but Owen did not really listen. He watched Cristina who stood on the opposite side of the grave, she wore a black dress and he thought it looked lovely. She herself refused to look at him instead she was staring on the ground. She had obviously avoided him the past week but he desperately wanted to talk to her without knowing what to say or where to begin. As the funeral guests dispersed he caught up with her.

"Hi" she simply said.

"Hi" he answered. "Um… I think I need a word."

"I know." She took a deep breath. He spotted a bench in a quiet corner of the graveyard and guided her over.

"Sit with me for a minute?" he suggested. She just nodded. They sat down he looked at her still not knowing where to begin. So he just said what he felt.

"I love you."

"I love you, too." She said sadly.

"So why would you leave me then – again?"

"Owen… I already told you. You want a child and I don't."

"And I told you I want you." He said firmly as he grabbed her hand. She looked at their hands but did not pull back.

"Owen you can't tell me you don't hope that I will someday change my mind about it. And I don't think I will. I am a surgeon not a mother and you know that. And if you are honest with yourself you know that you need to be a father and that I won't be enough and you will someday blame me for not giving you what you deserve." Owen knew she was right with everything she said. He in fact had hoped she would change her mind one day and he knew having a family was what he wanted deep down inside.

"It's not fair being in your way of having a family." She continued. "And I can't bear being the one standing in your way."

"You changed." He stated.

"I did – but maybe not enough." He was not sure what she meant by that.

"So this is it?" he swallowed hard.

"I guess."

"I don't think I can be happy without you." He felt a sting in his eyes.

"You have to try." She closed her eyes for a moment. _She is so tough._ He thought.

"Could we – could we try to be professional about it at work?" she asked. He was not able to say anything afraid he would start to cry so he just nodded. They continued looking at each other for a while. He tried to read in her eyes and in her face what she was feeling she has always been good at hiding her feelings. But even though it was hard he knew her and he knew what she kept inside. On the other hand he was sure she could see everything he felt written on his face. Finally she stood up and left him and their relationship on this bench in the graveyard. He remained sitting there for a few more minutes trying to take it in.


	3. 9th July - Get It Hot

9th July

It probably was the hottest day of the year in Seattle. Many people were brought here because they collapsed because of the heat. The ER was simply overcrowded when Owen was called by a nurse who was holding a telephone.

"Dr. Hunt, a multiple car crash happened several traumas are coming in a few minutes."

He sighed. He himself could deal with the heat – he had been in the desert for years – but he knew most of the other doctors were already exhausted. He spotted April and called her over.

"Kepner, several traumas are coming in soon, make sure to be ready!"

"Of course boss!" she squeaked. He got outside where some interns were already waiting. The first ambulance arrived and a paramedic got out.

"This is the truck driver who caused the crash. Has got a whiplash injury and his skull seems to be damaged at his front."

"Wilson and Ross, get him to trauma room one, page Sheperd!" Owen commanded.

The second ambulance arrived.

"22 year old female, several fractures, probably broken pubic bone. She is conscious." The paramedic informed him.

"Murphy and Edwards, get her to trauma room two and page Torres." Owen shouted as he hurried over to the next arriving ambulance. The paramedic jumped out and informed him.

"34 year old male, he was hit worst. He was caught in his car, his chest was crashed because his airbag obviously wasn't intact. This is the last. The others are driven over to Seattle Pres for we heard you are overcrowded."

"Okay, I'll take him. Brooks you are coming with me, trauma room three. Page Russell!"

"Dr. Hunt, Dr. Russell is not available, he is on his summer holiday." _Damn _he thought.

"So page Yang then." Although they were getting along being polite and professional at the outside for the last four months it was difficult for him to work with her. He often was very distracted and caught himself watching her, longing for her.

"Morning" Cristina greeted them inappropriately (it was 4:30 p.m.) as she arrived. She did not look Owen into the eye. He noticed she was wearing neither a lab coat nor a long sleeve underneath her scrub top like she usually did – it was just too warm. He mesmerized the flawless skin of her arms. _Owen! Concentrate! _Instead he watched the patient whose heart stopped beating just this moment.

"Mousy, get the defibrillator! Charge to 200!" Cristina commanded. The patient came back.

"We have to operate this instant!" he told her.

"I have to open him up right now" she answered "He wouldn't survive until we get to the OR."

"Do it! Brooks get us some banked blood – 0 Negative!" Brooks hurried away. Cristina opened up the patient as he intubated him. As he finished he could not help but watched her. Her hair was up in a bun and she was a little sweaty. There were only few occasions he had seen her sweating – the only occasion he could think of right now was when they had made love. He watched a bead of sweat running down her neck right behind her ear. He imagined how it would taste like to kiss it away. He followed it with his eyes: It found its way down her upper chest into her cleavage under her scrub top.

"Dr. Hunt!" Cristina tore him away from his thoughts. A little smile playing around the corners of her mouth told him she had caught him staring. He blushed.

"I think you better concentrate on our patient rather than on my-" Cristina stopped her sentence as Brooks arrived with the blood. Owen breathed deeply to calm himself down. As Cristina got the patient stable they took him to the OR and scrubbed in. The surgery took seven hours but they finally saved the patient. Brooks took the patient to the recovery room and left the two of them alone in the scrub room.

"Thank you." Owen told her.

"This is my job you don't have to thank me for it." She answered.

"Well I'm … I'm sorry for you know… the staring at… at" he stammered.

"At my breasts?" she couldn't suppress a smile. He blushed again.

"Good night, Dr. Hunt." She just said smiling.

"Good night. Dr. Yang." He smiled back and she left. _Am I in a strange way flirting with my ex-wife?_ He asked himself.


	4. 3rd September

3rd September

"Who the hell is that?" Cristina asked Meredith as they watched Owen and a small blond-haired woman in navy blue scrubs chatting down the corridor. It was pretty obvious she was flirting with him.

"That's the new ob/gyn attending Dr. Mary Leoni. Apparently she has a crush on Owen. Do we hate her now?" her best friend asked.

"Ob/gyn?" Cristina scrutinized the new doctor. She was petite with short light blond hair bright eyes and a permanent smile glued to her all so happy face. "Pfft. I don't care."

That was a lie. She hated this perfect Gynecologist flirting with HER Owen at once. Even if she broke up with him 6 months ago, she couldn't watch him flirting with somebody else. They came along acting professional with each other, trying not to communicate too often, she always got too heated when she was around him. She still loved him she had to admit to herself. But she would never admit this to anybody else let alone to him.

Later that day Cristina and Meredith were having a drink at Joe's. It was Meredith's first night out after Bailey's birth. Sitting in a rather dark corner of the pub they chatted about some recent hospital gossip. From the corner of her eye Cristina got a glimpse of a familiar person entering the pub.

"Oh my god, hide me!" she whispered and ducked her head behind Meredith.

"What? What is it?"

"There!"

"Oh Owen and Dr. Leoni, I thought you don't care?"

"Well, I don't."

"So then why are you hiding right now?"

"Am not."

"Okay…" Meredith just kept on chatting but Cristina didn't listen. She was watching Owen and his new admirer. Dr. Leoni touched him lightly on the arms when she talked. She laughed loudly and he smiled at her and that really pissed her off. _Is he already able to move on? _She thought.

"Cristina?" Meredith interrupted her. "Are you even listening? Mh…" She followed her gaze.

"Look how she throws herself at him. This is just disgusting. As if Owen likes that kind of woman." Cristina spat out.

"May I remind you, that you broke up for good, that you broke up to give him the chance to once have a family with someone? He first has to find someone and you are right now witnessing him trying – trying to move on."

"But her?"

"You are not the one to choose for him. She looks nice though."

"Nice? I'm sorry, I just cannot watch them flirting like two teenagers. I think I have to go home."

"It's okay. I'm not used to drinking alcohol anymore anyhow and I'm already a little too merry. I just wanna go home to my two little monsters."

They got up and headed for the door. As they passed Owen he noticed them. His and Cristina's eyes locked for a few moments. His former smile changed into a rather guilty and caught expression.

Cristina left for her room in Alex's house. On her way home and later in bed she thought about their break-up and her reasons wondering if it had been the right thing to do. It was half a year ago now. She hasn't been able to move on for one single millimeter. She often caught herself staring longingly at him imagining and remembering how he would feel. She was afraid to forget how it would feel like to make love to him and she was sure she would never be able to have this sensational feeling again. At the other hand she was also sure her feelings for him will not decrease as soon as she hoped they would do – they hadn't decreased at all, rather the opposite. The longer they were parted the more she wanted him back. Her dreams were haunted by him. Both night and day dreams. Only when she was in surgery she could focus and blend him out. And yet she still sometimes had the huge need after a difficult surgery to tell Owen of it, to share her joy with him. She hugged her pillow. _I'm not going to imagine I'm in his arms _she begged herself, but she nevertheless did – apparently the only thing persuading her mind to rest for sleep.


	5. 22nd October

22nd October

Owen drove over to Mary's apartment. They were about to go on a date to some fancy Italian restaurant. They have been dating for about a month now. At first Owen tried to refuse her attempts but then he gave in telling himself that he sometime somehow had to make a new start. In his heart he knew that this was wrong, that his feelings for Cristina were still too strong to be ignored but at least he tried to. He really hoped that he could someday fall in love with Mary.

Due to the fact that he (still and now even more) was in love with a woman he was not with and that he was with a woman he did not love (yet, like he hoped) he constantly had a bad conscience. When he was with Mary he felt guilty because even if Cristina and he were no couple for seven months now he still felt like cheating on her. And he felt bad because every time he kissed or touched or made love to Mary (the last one only happened once yet) he thought of Cristina. He tried to focus on the woman in front of him, but every time he closed his eyes he saw her – her dark sensual eyes, her wild curls, her exotic face. And he always felt like cheating on Mary when he only saw Cristina. When she entered the room he felt like everything in him was turned upside down. He tried not to but he could not help staring at her remembering what it would be like to hold her, to kiss her, to have her. He tried not to think of her too often but sometimes late at night when he couldn't sleep, he thought of her, of what they could have had and sometimes even fantasizing of her.

At the restaurant Mary was unusually quiet. He wondered if he did anything wrong until she finally talked when the waiter brought them their dessert.

"I talked to Callie today."

"Aha? About what?" he knew Callie really could talk a lot.

"About you, actually. She said she was glad you apparently got over your break-up with Dr. Yang." she said carefully. _Oh, that's where she's coming from._ He thought. He had known that someday she would find out.

"Well, when did you plan to tell me I'm working at the same place like your ex-girlfriend – your EX-WIFE?" She asked reproachfully.

"Umm… I hadn't thought that would be important to you." Now he felt really awkward and guilty thinking of everything he still felt for Cristina.

"Not important? Callie told me you were together for more than five years!"

"We were."

"Tell me of her, of you!"

"Tell you? What should I tell you of Cristina and me?" _That she was the best and worst thing at the same time that ever happened to me? That she is the love of my life? That she killed our child? That I still love her? That I will never stop loving her?_

"Anything. Tell me anything for you are not giving me just one piece of you."

"I…I…" he stumbled he certainly hadn't expected a conversation like this.

"We had a lot of ups and downs. We broke up and came back together more than once… Is this what you want?"

"Yes, tell me."

"We…" What the hell should he tell her? Should he talk about his immense feelings for her? Certainly not!

"I don't know what you want to hear…" He just confessed.

"Okay then I am going to ask you: When did you get together?"

"Soon after I got back from Iraq, six years ago."

"When did you break up?"

"For the first time? Or the last time?"

"The last time of course."

"That's more than seven months ago now."

"Do you still-"

"I think it's enough! I'm not pumping you for details about your ex-boyfriends either." He interrupted her. They paid and drove home in silence. When they arrived at her apartment she gave him a quick peck on his lips wishing him a good night's sleep. He didn't respond. He was deep in thoughts of Cristina as he drove home and got into bed. He reached out for the bedside table and grabbed the picture of her and him out of the drawer. He hadn't been able to get rid of it yet. _Cristina, what have you made out of me?_


	6. 5th November

5th November

Cristina made her way to the vent. It was a boring shift: No cardio cases, all her patients were stable, Meredith was in surgery which meant that they wouldn't gossip. Her favorite topic for gossiping was Dr. Leoni, talking about how ridiculous she thought she was helped her to hide the fact that it really hurt her badly to see Owen with another woman. She also had tried to sleep in an on-call room but every time she closed her eyes she found herself imagining a pair of ocean-blue ones. In other words: There was just too much time to think about her empty and miserable life like she thought. _You're a cardio goddess! Don't think like that Cristina Yang!_ But she couldn't help it. She had great surgeries, she already has published some articles for some medical journals, people knew she was great. _Right now I get everything I ever wanted! _But still she didn't really felt like she thought she would when her dreams would come true. So she really needed all those miserable depressing thoughts to be blown out of her mind. Fortunately she knew a place in this hospital which could do exactly that – literally. She pushed the handle of the door to the vent room. As she opened the door slightly she heard a voice from inside talking against the noise of the vent. She stopped her movement and listened – it was Owen's voice phoning with somebody Cristina soon recognized as Teddy for the phone's loudspeakers were turned on.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine. Things are great right now for me. But how are you? I haven't heard of you in a while! So there must be something special why you called." Teddy just said.

Cristina peeked into the room. Owen stood on top of the vent with his back to the door so he couldn't see Cristina. She wondered if she should leave, it wasn't her business anymore what went on in Owen's life. But she wasn't able to move she just hid behind the door and listened.

"Yeah I know it's been a while. I'm sorry. I think I just need a friend, I … I just cannot keep all this to myself any longer and you used to be the one I could talk to about my … umm … feelings."

"Oh well I think I'm honored. But what about Cristina? What is it you can't talk about to her?"

"Well we're not talking very much at present. We … we broke up exactly eight months ago now." He sighed.

"You – what? Why?"

"She broke up with me telling me she loved me and that she doesn't want to be the one to stop me from having a family." There was a pause until Teddy spoke again.

"Wow that's pretty mature, she certainly has changed."

"Well at first I didn't want to admit it but then I realized she was right I really want a family. And I tried to move on and I got into another relationship but I'm struggling with my feelings. I don't know if this is right, I just don't know what to do anymore. And I just needed to talk about it with someone."

"So you are telling me that you are in a relationship with another woman but are still in love with Cristina?"

Owen sighed, Cristina held her breath.

"Yes. I … I … I … yes." He stammered.

"Owen… I can see the struggle you're in. She's the love of your life." Teddy told him, he sighed again.

"But I just don't know how to stop that." Cristina became dizzy from holding her breath.

"You cannot stop that, Owen."

He sighed repeatedly.

"But what shall I do?"

"So the reason you broke up is again the baby issue? How important is that to you?"

"I don't know, a lot I'm afraid. She's right that if I had stayed with her I might have blamed her someday for not giving me what I wanted and she doesn't deserve this. The thing is that I just cannot imagine having a baby with anybody else. I feel like if I can't have hers I don't want any."

That was enough. Cristina stumbled back and began to run away from the vent and Owen – the man she loved, the man who loved her. It felt good to know he still loved her, but she felt like she was destroying him with her mere existence. It hurt her badly seeing him being hurt. _Maybe we should have never met! _


	7. 12th November - Day: Going Under

12th November – Day

Cristina sat in the conference room and waited for her hearing. Yes a hearing. An "incidental medical malpractice" was what they called her misdemeanor. She still couldn't believe that the man she had operated on four days ago was dead. She couldn't believe it was her fault, that she had made this mistake, that she did the cut which killed the man. She just couldn't believe this happened: The cut, the death, the law suit. _This is not happening!_ She told herself. But it was. She knew those things like malpractices happen from time to time. She knew she had many excuses, why this happened. It had been at night, she hadn't slept for 40 hours when she had scrubbed in for this surgery. But she was sure it wouldn't have happened if she hadn't been distracted that much. She was distracted thinking of her strawberry-red-haired ocean-blue-eyed manly chief, ex-boyfriend and ex-husband. She had been distracted thinking about her empty personal life. She had been distracted thinking about her future. She had been distracted thinking about leaving this town. She knew leaving was a good way to avoid what distracted her, but she had tried leaving before and she remembered how lonely she had felt. She never really had felt like she had a family. Her father was dead, her mother was a beast and her stepfather was a nice guy but never really became a father figure to her. But this hospital, which she actually partly owned, was like a home to her and her friends the closest thing to a family she ever had, although she would never confess this to anybody but to Meredith. So she just didn't want to leave.

People entered the room. She recognized her attorney Mrs. Winters, the dead patient's wife Mrs. Adams and the source of her distraction, Owen, as the Chief of surgery it was his duty to take part in this hearing. Their eyes locked, he had a pitiful look on his face. She forced herself to look down and tried to concentrate on what was before her. She didn't know the other people and she really didn't care at all. They wanted to shake her hand and she let them without saying anything. A pudgy middle-aged man began to speak she watched him but didn't listen. _If he won't lose some weight he will get an acute coronary event_ she thought. Her eyes wandered to Owen, he was watching her. Usually she would have looked away but she wasn't really able to control herself so she just sunk in the ocean of his eyes.

"Dr. Yang? Dr. Yang!" the pudgy guy woke her out of her trance. "Do you want to say something to defend yourself?" She stared at him uncomprehendingly she couldn't see the sense in those words – they were just words. Mrs. Winters began to talk but Cristina didn't understand what she was saying. She searched for Owen's eyes she wanted to ask him to wake her up, to get her out. He looked sad and helpless. Suddenly she heard someone cry it was a woman's voice. She took a look around. The noise came from Mrs. Adams who was sobbing uncontrollably. She began to scream.

"You killed him! You KILLED him and now you're too proud to even talk to me! You killed him! You killed my children's father, my husband!" Those were too much words for Cristina too understand in her condition. The only thing she really could make sense of right now was "You killed him". _I killed him? I killed him! _She thought. Mrs. Adams was brought out of the room and Cristina found herself staring at an outstretched hand. The hand belonged to Pudgy. She did not know what she was supposed to do with this fat sweaty hand. She didn't want to touch it.

"I killed him." She just stated calmly. Pudgy said something and left the room. Owen appeared into her field of vision. He talked. She didn't want to talk. Not with him, not right now. She needed to think clearly again.

"Don't" she told Owen. He stopped whatever he just said he watched her and then left the room, too. After a while Cristina decided to take a shower and got up. The shower was cold and refreshing. She thought about what had just happened now able to understand. _I killed him_ was the quintessence of everything. As she got out of the shower she wondered what she should do – it was already 6:30 p. m. She didn't want to go home, but she didn't want to go to Meredith either. It was not like she wasn't delighted for her best friend to be happy, but she knew she wouldn't stand all that fluffy happiness right now, even if she could really use some comfort. She decided to go to Joe's to search for some comfort in the burning heat of Tequila.

_**Author: The fact that this chapter is called "12th November - Day" has the Logical consequence that there will be a chapter called "12th November - Night", which I'm still working on. Look Forward to it!**_


	8. 12th November - Night: November Rain

_**Now this chapter really captured me some time, I really hope you like it!  
Caution: This chapter is M-rated (not too much but a little ;)**_

12th November – Night

He saw her immediately as he walked around the corner: Her arms were wrapped around her legs, her head resting on her knees. He was stuck right in the movement. He had worried about her the whole day – she had seemed so broken and lost – not knowing, if he should comfort her (which he had tried but she had rejected), or if he should just give her some space – without them having any close moments in the past months – at least without touching or talking any more than necessary: Just staring longingly at each other. The fact that she came here, sitting in front of his apartment door, showed him how deeply this law suit against her really hurt her, showed how much she really needed to be comforted. And he wouldn't deny that to her, even if it was all so wrong.

"Cristina" he called out softly and took a few steps further. As she didn't react he squatted down to her.

"Cristina" he whispered. He cautiously reached out and stroked her hand. At least she didn't refuse it.

"Cristina, look at me, please!" She slowly raised her head. Her astonishing brown eyes were reddened from crying as well as her cheeks and as she sobbed he could smell she definitely had had not only one glass of Tequila.

"I don't know why I came here." She said with a husky voice. A certain memory flickering through his thoughts of them sitting on her front steps six years ago and seeing her suffering like that almost tore him apart.

"It's okay." Was everything he said though. He reached with one hand under her knees and with the other behind her back and carried her into his apartment –another memory of him carrying her and her icicle flickering through his thoughts. She just closed her eyes and her sobbing became harder. He put her on his bed and knelt down in front of her, holding her hands.  
He knew the case and he knew her, knew how strong she was – that's why he was wondering, why it was bothering her THAT much.

"Cristina" he began again, "it was a mistake, it's okay, mistakes are how you learn, they make you grow." He stroked her cheeks with his fingertips. He had an unbearable desire to embrace her, but he didn't know if that would be appropriate. So he just kept touching her lightly.

"I know it shouldn't upset me that much, but I can't help it" she whispered and then added in a rather bitter tone: "I think I got too soft! I'm no hardcore anymore…"

"Cristina," he smiled, "you are hardcore. You are a real Cardio Goddess. You are a goddess! People adore you." He wiped away a tear streaming down her chin. "I adore you." He said solemnly what equals _I love you. _He could have said it just as well:Everything he did just told _I love you_; he caressed her cheek telling _I love you_, he took one of her black curly strands behind her ear telling _I love you_.  
As the tears kept streaming down her face he gave in and embraced her placing her on his lap. She clung to him longing for the comfort she needed. He held her tight, muttered calming nothings, stroked her hair. He couldn't deny he was enjoying holding her in his arms again, even if he knew it was just for now. He inhaled her scent while kissing her forehead – eyes closed. She slowly calmed down, her head resting on his chest, her hand around his neck.

"There's more to it" she eventually said. "My patient had a daughter, she is seven, and it was a car accident, and … I couldn't save him … I killed him, I – "She fell silent, her eyes looking in the distance. The parallels to the accident her father died in were just too obvious. He just kept holding her trying to give her all the strength she needed.

"I'm sorry, that I came here" she said after a few moments, looking him straight in the eyes.

"Cristina" there were so many things he wanted to tell her not knowing where to begin.

"Despite everything that happened in the past few months, you are still my person. There's been too much between us to just turn it all off. And you came here because you needed comfort and because I'm your person. And that cannot be broken up, Cristina. I will always be your person!" _And I love you – still_, he thought. He had drawn her closer and their faces were only inches away from each other now. Their eyes were locked.

"I know," she simply said – one hand still behind his neck, the other one tracing the lines on his face making him shiver.

With their faces just THAT close it was as if they were magnetic – unable to move back. He could feel her warm tequila-flavored breath on his face tickling his skin. He could feel her warmth, he leaned in the touch of her fingertips on his face. He admired her face: Her sensual eyes which told him she needed him, her nose he always thought of as very cute and her lips. He knew exactly how those lips would taste. Finally her lips gently touched his. _Am I day-dreaming right now?_ A part of him wondered. He closed his eyes soaking in every detail of this very moment. He could hear her breathing deeply and felt her tongue caressing his lips and searching for his. As their kiss began to deepen he was overwhelmed by thousands of memories of their past kisses – some soft and gentle, some passionate, some desperate, some fiery, kisses in which they had laid all their love. He reached into her hair realizing how much he had in fact missed her, missed this. He felt his body responding as she pulled herself nearer to him. She wrapped her legs around him while he pulled off her jacket.

"Owen" she finally said when he started kissing her throat "This is not right." He ignored her and kissed her fiercely their tongues dancing with each other.

"Owen" she repeated as they caught breath.

"Yeah, you're right: This is wrong." He said, he had not thought of Mary for only one second, forgetting that he was actually in a kind of a relationship right now with her. Nevertheless he still loved Cristina with every pore of his body.

"Owen" she said again, "I'm begging you even if this is all so wrong – and I don't want to think about HOW wrong it is right now – please just… just give me this one night, only this one night to remember." She looked him solemnly in his eyes.

"As a sort of goodbye?" he asked huskily. He knew he won't resist this temptation.

"Yeah"

"So this is our night?"

"Yeah, I guess."

He needed no other invitation. He kissed her ardently, desperately and reached beneath the hem of her shirt. She just wasn't able or patient enough to unbutton his shirt she just ribbed the shirt tearing the buttons from it. They quickly stripped off the rest of their clothes while kissing as if they tried to fill the eight-months-long gap since they had kissed the last time. He put her on his bed and paused for a minute looking at her, she reached out one hand to touch his face and he leaned in the touch of her. He gave her a soft loving smile telling _I love you_ so obviously, but he didn't want to express it knowing how much it would hurt afterwards.

"Our night" he said instead. She too smiled warming his heart.

He reached down to kiss her collar bone and then made his way down kissing her body until he reached her center starting to do some magic with his tongue. Moaning she put her hands into his hair. He knew her so well, knew what she liked, what she wanted, what she needed. Quickly he got her over the edge while she made a lot of beautiful noises turning him on even more. He kissed his way up again and watched her recover from her ecstasy. He smiled and shook his head.

"What?" she asked.

"You're beautiful." He kissed her passionately on her mouth as he eventually entered her reuniting their bodies after a certainly too long time. He was simply overwhelmed by the intensity of his own feelings. The past months he really tried to shut those feelings down and right now everything came back to the surface. He soon quickened his pace and lifted one of her legs to get deeper into her. In response she got louder and dug her fingernails into the skin of his back giving him an extra thrill. As they both climaxed in unison he again felt a huge urge to tell her what he was feeling. He hid his face in her hair overcome by emotions and listened to her heavy breathing. As he looked at her again he saw that she too had tears in her eyes. He kissed her intensely and she held tightly onto him as if she was drowning and he was her buoy.

_I love you_. Left unspoken.

"You know, I won't let you go tonight, I will hold on you the whole night." She muttered between some kisses.

"You know, I really do not want you to let me go tonight." He answered.

"Tonight. This one night. Our night." She repeated.

Given that this was a very weird kind of a one-night-stand, he just tried to enjoy every second of it. And he did. Until both fell – quite exhausted – asleep in an early morning hour.

She woke up what seemed like in the middle of the night. She felt strong arms around her realizing they were Owens arms. She turned around to look at him making sure it all wasn't just one of her in the next morning painful dreams. He was fast asleep. She stroked his cheek and sighed: Usually she didn't like waking up in the middle of the night, but that night she was glad to enjoy another conscious moment in his arms. She put one arm and one leg across him and snuggled up against his bare chest and soon fell asleep again.

He had forgotten to provide the alarm clock, but he woke up as usual. He found her in his arms and himself in her embrace. Her face was buried at his chest and he inhaled the scent of her hair. He just wanted this moment to last forever knowing, that their night would be over soon. He hugged her tightly, she stirred and woke up. She gazed at him and for a few minutes they just looked at each other.

"I have to get up now" Owen finally said "Work" he added.

"Today is my day off, you know, I have to prepare myself for the hearing."

"I know, I'm the Chief, remember? So… this is it?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Hm" he sighed "I have to go to the bathroom."

"Yeah, goodbye Owen, see you soon." She gave him a faint smile.

"Goodbye Cristina. I will save this." He sadly smiled back.

"Yeah, me too."

With that they both got up. Owen went into the bathroom. Cristina gave his naked body one last gaze, dressed herself and left his apartment.

He got himself into the shower. While the hot water washed over his body he just didn't know what to feel. He felt like crying and smiling and shouting and laughing and dancing at the same time. _Cristina, it hurts to love you, but I will always do._

**_Please review for your reviews make me happy!_**


	9. 19th November

19th November

It was a hell of a day for Cristina Yang M.D. She had had a 14-hour non-stop surgery and she was on-call to night. At 8:30 p.m. she decided it would be best if she took a good nap. In an on-call room she kicked her shoes under the bunk bed and climbed up to the upper one. She tried to think about the brilliant surgery she just had, but when she felt herself dazing off her thoughts wandered to Owen and the night they had one week ago. She often relived every single minute of this night in her thoughts. It had woken her up in many ways: She was more focused on work again – somehow satisfied – but her desire for him was wide awake now, too as well as her feelings for him. The law suit went okay and she had to confess it had been Owen's comfort what put her back together. She couldn't tell herself any longer that her life could only consist of surgery. She couldn't deny she needed love in her life and she couldn't imagine loving anybody but Owen. _You messed this up, Cristina! You have to give it up! _She reminded herself.  
She and Owen hadn't talked much since that night. He had asked her a few times how she was and she had reassured him she was fine and okay again. Somehow she was disappointed. She didn't know what she had expected or if she was expecting anything but she had hoped he would say something about their encounter. _I just don't know what to do. _She confessed to herself as she finally fell asleep.  
But soon her nap was interrupted by somebody shutting the door quite noisy. At first she didn't really care, but when she realized who it was her heart forgot to beat for a second and she was awake abruptly.

"I need to talk to you." Owens voice said. She could have recognized this voice as one in a thousand. _To me? _She wondered. But she realized she was hidden under the sheets in the upper bed and Owen could not see her in the dim light.

"Okay" answered the voice of Mary. Cristina wondered if she should make herself felt, but she just hid under the covers. Hopefully their little talk wouldn't last that long. And she really hoped they would TALK and not do something she really didn't want to witness.

"I want to be honest with you." Owen began, "I think I have to end our relationship."

There was a pause.

"I really do like you" he continued, "I think you are a great woman, and I really hoped I could fall in love with you, but I just can't. I wanted to make a new start, but I just feel unable to move on. I- I'm sorry."

Mary hadn't said a word yet. Cristina could hear a restrained sound not knowing if it was a sob or a sigh.

"You still love her." She finally managed to say. Owen didn't respond. Cristina hold her breath, she knew exactly what a kind of expression his face would show just right now. There were a few minutes of silence. Cristina so hoped not to get noticed. That would be the most awkward situation imaginable to her.

Then she could hear the door being slammed and a deep sigh, which came obviously from Owen. Then he left, too.

Cristina found herself not being able to sleep anymore. She thought about what this meant for them, thought about the fact he still loved her, although he hadn't said it. She knew. He wasn't good at hiding his feelings. Still she didn't know what she wanted, if she wanted to get together with Owen again because the reason they broke up for was still existent. But now she was sure she couldn't be as happy with just surgery as she had hoped to be. _I need you, Owen._

At 10:30 p.m. she got called for a cardio emergency.


	10. 10th December

10th December

It was a rough day down in the ER. Owen had not had a minute yet to do his whatever-chief-duties operating on one trauma after another. It was already 9 p.m. when a nurse called him.

"Dr. Hunt, another trauma is coming in about five minutes."

He sighed. It seemed like this day just didn't want to end. He thought about the whole bunch of paperwork waiting in his office to be done by him today. The ambulance arrived.

"What do we got?" he asked the paramedic.

"Car crash: Car versus truck – truck won. This is the car driver she was trapped in her car, she's pregnant. A couple of broken ribs and probably some major internal injuries." Nicole, the paramedic, answered.

"Okay: Trauma room one, page gynecology and cardio!" he ordered.

After examining her injuries he decided it would be best to get into surgery as soon as possible. He was already on his way into the scrub room to prep for the surgery. Soon he was joined by Mary, the ob/gyn in charge, she had been acting cold towards him since he broke up with her three weeks ago just like he had expected. She was accompanied by Dr. Edwards. When he was almost ready to start, Cristina arrived in the scrub room. She stared at him and then at Mary obviously uncomfortable.

"You paged cardio? So what do we have?" she turned on the faucet.

"Car accident: major internal injuries, pregnant." He told her. That's what their conversations were like in the past few weeks: Short, polite and professional. Although he broke up with Mary and still loved Cristina he hadn't made any attempts to get back together with her. He just didn't know what he wanted. A part of him wanted her badly, a part of him wanted to make a new start, even if his first try failed. Somehow he did not dare to come too close to her, afraid to get hurt. He often thought about their night, went through it again knowing this wouldn't help him to move on, but he just couldn't help himself.  
They operated in silence. He glanced around: _What a nice little company _he thought. Mary had to get the child and Cristina worked hard to fix the woman's heart. After four hours it looked like they got her over the worst. His part was done, so he watched Cristina even though he knew Mary would watch him watching Cristina. He realized she was sweating. That was weird he had never seen her sweating during a surgery. She breathed heavily and stopped in her movement. He started getting concerned.

"Cristina? Are you okay?" he asked her.

"Give me minute!" she hissed through clenched teeth. She took a deep breath and continued. As she nearly finished she stepped back from the OR table, breathing heavily.

"Edwards!" she managed to say, "Would you like to close the patient?"

"Yes, sure." Stephanie answered.

Cristina herself stumbled out of the OR.

"Watch Dr. Edwards!" Owen told Mary as he too left the OR and ran after Cristina. Apparently she hadn't made it to the bathroom he found her vomiting into a bin on the corridor. Fortunately there weren't any other people. He squatted down to her, patted her back and gave her a tissue.

"Are you okay?"

"What does it look like? Obviously I got a damn flu… Go away you don't have to do this!"

"Probably it would be better if you stay home the next days. Shall I drive you home?"

"No, no. It's okay."

"You can't drive like that."

"Karev took me this morning…"

"But he's already home." He was interrupted by her vomiting once again. He waited until she was finished.

"I'll drive you home, don't argue!"

She sighed but gave in. After changing they met in the parking lot. As he drove her home he could see her closing her eyes. He didn't know if he should say something so they were silent. He stopped in front of Karev's (former Meredith's) house.

"Here we are." He said, "Promise me to stay home until you really feel better, okay?"

"I promise."

"Take care now." He lightly squeezed her hand.

"Thank you." She gave him a small smile and got out of his car. He watched her until she disappeared into the house and sighed. _How the hell shall I move on?_


	11. 24th December - Touch Too Much

_**I'm sorry that I come up with a Christmas story in the middle of july, but my plot line just reached Christmas! Hope you don't mind.**_

24th December

It was Christmas eve. At 7 p. m. Cristina drove over to Meredith's and Derek's who invited all friends to have some Christmas dinner. As a godmother she had bought two of the latest exemplar of Anatomy Jane as a present for Zola and Sophia – she knew they would have liked dolls in pink dresses as well, but she thought that was too girlish and stereotype. In Cristina's opinion her goddaughters couldn't start practicing for being a surgeon early enough. She hadn't bought anything for Bailey. _He's just a baby, he has got everything he needs and wouldn't remember or notice at all if I bought him something! _She thought.  
Because of the flu she had laid in bed for three whole days unable to stand without seeing stars dancing around her head – so she was forced to recover at home and she had hated it – she didn't do sick or staying home. And after she had recovered she had buried herself in work to compensate the time she had stayed at home – and so she also worked today which caused being late for Meredith's Christmas party. She rung the doorbell of the dream house in the woods and an obviously squiffy Callie opened the door.

"Cristina!" she squeaked "Merry Christmas!" Cristina had to tolerate being hugged by Callie.

"You know, I don't do Christmas, I'm-"

"-Jewish, I know. But do you do Hanukkah? No. But I do Christmas, and you're here – so you obviously have to do some Christmas! So come on in!" With that Callie dragged her in the living room where the other guests were chatting loudly. She caught a glance at Owen, who was talking to Alex.

"Where's your daughter? I bought her um… a present." She asked Callie.

"Aw! You bought Sophia a Christmas present? That's so cute! She's over there in Zola's room." Cristina made her way to the girls.

"Hi, I have got a present for each of you!" She handed them their presents.

"Thank you, Cristina!" Zola showed her good manners. Cristina had broken them of the habit to call her "Aunt" – that sounded way too old – or "Auntie" – because she just didn't do minimizations.

"Thank you, 'Stina!" Sophia echoed her older friend – she still had difficulties pronouncing the "Cr". They unpacked their Anatomy Janes.

"A doll!" Sophia stated loudly.

"It's a doll, but not a usual doll. This is Anatomy Jane and you can be little surgeons operating on her – just like your parents! Look this is the heart." Cristina fumbled out the little plastic heart. "That's what I operate on – it's a very important organ! Here's the lung…" The girls listened and fumbled with the organs. Someone knocked at the doorframe.

"Hi" it was Owen "um… I thought you would want some red wine?" He handed her a glass. She loved red wine – he knew her too well.

"Oh…um thank you. I think one glass is okay – I have to be at 5 a.m. in the hospital for a surgery tomorrow." She wondered if he was up to something. They usually still didn't talk much with each other.

"Oh, yeah I know." He smiled at her – maybe a little too long.

"Yeah of course you know."

"So Cristina gave you two an Anatomy Jane as a present?" he addressed Zola and Sophia.

"Yes, look Owen! This is the heart!" Sophia declared. Owen knelt down to them. Cristina felt a little uncomfortable while she watched Owen interacting with the two little girls and left to look for Meredith. She found her in the kitchen area where April was cooking the dinner while Meredith herself was busy jollying Baby Bailey along. The other Bailey gave April advices how to carve the roast best.

"Hey Mer!"

"Cristina, there you are! I see you already got yourself a glass of wine."

"Well, actually Owen offered it to me." Cristina confessed.

"So you two are talking with each other?" Cristina hadn't told her best friend that she had had a quite intensive nightly "talk" with her ex-husband six weeks ago.

"Sometimes" she muttered.

"Grey, we could use your help serving the dinner this is your Christmas party after all – even if Kepner and I are doing all the work!" Bailey interrupted their little talk to Cristina's relief.

"Yes, of course." Meredith handed Baby Bailey to Cristina. "Could you please put him in the highchair?"

"I will do anything but change his diapers – that's your job!" Cristina carried the baby to the dining area where the other guests were already taking a seat. After she had put Bailey into his highchair she chose a seat and took a sip of her red wine.

"May I join you?" Owen's voice asked form behind. Cristina felt herself blushing.

"Oh…um…sure." _Why is it suddenly so damn hot in here?_ She thought. As he took his seat he brushed her arm with his so the muscles under his olive-green shirt could be sensed by her. She shivered. She wondered if he had done that coincidently or intentionally.

"You look lovely." He told her as he grabbed a bowl of potato wedges across the table in Cristina's direction. She could smell his aftershave.

"Do you want some?" he offered her. She swallowed and nodded. As he shoved some onto her plate the back of his hand slightly brushed her breast arousing her. _Is he flirty or am I imagining this? _Out of the corner of her eye she could see he was smiling to himself. _Are you making fun out of me, Owen Hunt?_ She thought as she piled up food on her plate. _I can play that game, too._ She looked around everyone was busy eating, chatting or jollying the kids along. They wouldn't notice if she teased Owen a little.

"So are you early in the hospital tomorrow, too?" she asked as she bent down to fumble around with her handbag which hung on her armrest. She already knew he would be early in the hospital and she wasn't looking for anything in her handbag. She just wanted to make sure he would look when she was bending down giving him a good look on her cleavage.

"Um… I… yeah." He stammered. Apparently it worked. Satisfied Cristina started to eat. After a few minutes she dropped her fork to the ground.

"Oh sorry, it has been a long day, I'm already getting clumsy." She ducked under the table to reach out for her fork. Pretending to need a hold she placed her hand upon Owen's thigh and gripped it firmly. She felt how Owen froze and heard how he caught his breath. She smiled. As she came up again she saw he had closed his eyes obviously trying to calm himself. She continued to eat.

"I think I could use some fresh air." Owen finally muttered and got up. Since their friends didn't seem to notice at all Cristina finally got up herself muttering something including the word "bathroom". She found Owen standing at the front porch. When he saw her he tried to suppress a smile but failed.

"What are you doing, Dr. Yang?" he asked her.

"Oh, the question is what were YOU doing, Dr. Hunt?" She gave him a wicked smile. "You started teasing me." She continued.

"Did it work?" he asked mischievously.

"Maybe. I just wanted to remind you that I would always win this game."

"You would and just did. You have always won… So how do you like this Christmas party?"

"I don't do Christmas parties."

"I know."

"So why are you asking?"

"Just looking for something to say that would lead us away from our very obvious sexual chemistry." He chuckled. She laughed.

"Well I could make it easier for us: I think I'm going to drive home now. I was here and I bought my goddaughters a Christmas present – that's all one can ask of me. Good night, Owen."

"Good night Cristina. I miss being around you." She smiled but remained silent. _I miss you, too, Owen. I pine for you._


	12. 7th January 2014

_**Seems like I really like some drama... Enjoy!**_

7th January

Owen and Cristina sat in the conference room. Cristina just declared the details of her planned clinical trial about an entire healing for Hypertrophic Cardio Myopathy. Owen had offered to support her with her plans. On the one hand he was very interested in Cristina's plan on the other hand he was sick staying away from her. He could no longer stand shutting down his feelings and desires for her. He no longer had the strength to deny he loved her. And it just felt too good to see her, to talk and laugh with her, to be around her. He loved how enthusiastic and ambitious she was about her plans. She smiled at him while she gestured with her hands forming a heart. _She is getting even more beautiful day by day. _He thought. To him her skin recently somehow seemed to glow. He ached to touch it.  
But even though it brightened up his day when he saw her and interacted with her it somehow made it all worse – it made him want what he too well knew was wonderful and mind-blowing. It made him want all of her. It made him want to give her all of him. It made him want to dedicate his life to her so badly it almost caused him physical pain.  
He watched her lips move – those full pink lips. He remembered how they tasted – how often had he been allowed to taste them! He bathed in the still fresh memory of their sweet and hot love making eight weeks ago. He knew thinking about all her hotness wasn't very appropriate in that very moment, but he felt like a starving man in front of an all-you-can-eat buffet. He was lost in thoughts watching his embodied black-haired dream and noticeably drowning in an ocean of desire as she interrupted his day-dreaming.

"Owen? Are you even listening?" she nudged him unaware of what her touch was doing to him.

"What? I …um… just thought how proud of you I am. When we met you were a second-year resident and now you plan your first own medical trial." Well, this wasn't exactly what he thought just that moment, but it was true and he had thought it before. She gave him a warm smile.

"Now you're a real cardio goddess, you finally get what you have ever dreamed of, what means real happiness for you." He continued. Her smile faded.

"Yeah, pure joy, dream of my life, real happiness – I'm on cloud nine." She said with sharp sarcasm, which couldn't be overheard by Owen – not even in his current state of burning desire. So she wasn't happy being a cardio goddess?

"So are you telling me-" he started but was interrupted by his cell phone. He looked at the screen, it told "Charlotte". Charlotte was his younger sister, she lived in Chicago and he hadn't seen her in a while. Right now his mother was visiting her.

"It's Charlotte. I'm sorry I think I should take her call." He told Cristina. Although they had once been sisters-in-law they had never met each other.

"Charlotte?" he answered the call.

"Owen…" she was crying.

"Hey, what's wrong with you?"

"Owen… mom had a heart attack!"

"What? How's she? Is she-" he wasn't able to pronounce the word "dead" right now.

"Yes… she is…" she sobbed. "I…I have to hung up now, I'll call you again later." Owen blinked a few times. _This is not happening._ He thought.

"Owen? What happened? I could hear Charlotte's sobs right through the phone. Owen?"

"My mother died." He was paralyzed. Cristina looked shocked herself.

"Owen…" she took his hand in hers. Slowly emotions of loss crawled up within him. He started to shake. Cristina tried to steady him, held him with all pressure she could afford, tried to calm him. It took some time until his breathing steadied again. He pressed his face against her neck breathing in the familiar scent of the woman he loved, he needed, calming himself. She rubbed his back.

"I know how little it helps but I'm very sorry." She whispered softly.

"It helps more than any other thing in the whole world." He whispered huskily. "I think I gotta go home now." He wiped away a tear. "Thank you."

"Anytime." She kissed him on his cheek "Call me if you need me."

_I do always need you._ He thought as he left the room.


	13. 21st January - Ten weeks after

21st January

Cristina sat in a toilet-cabin of one of the hospitals bathrooms. Holding a tampon in one hand she stared at her panties. There ought to be some blood. Today she was three days late and she wasn't late usually. She was only 34 – far too young for climacteric period. _Is there something wrong with me? _She wondered. She decided to get checked at once and thought about who she could ask to examine her. The head of Gynecology was Dr. Leoni and she really was no option. Not Owen's ex-girlfriend – that would be too awkward.  
Owen had been busy handling the formalities of his mother's death. Cristina had accompanied him to her funeral. After all she once had been her mother-in-law and she knew Owen really needed to be comforted. She had held his hand and had tried to give him all the strength he needed. He had appreciated it but had not taken advantage of it. Being there for him gave her a new sense in her life – even if she wanted more, his mere presence made her think about her own life as worthier living.  
She thought about who else she could ask. Meredith wasn't at the hospital today because Zola and Bailey both got a bad flu and the day-care wouldn't take them in that state, so Meredith stayed home for a few days until the worst would be over. Callie was an orthopedic surgeon the last time she had examined anybody's girl parts in a medical way was probably long ago. She wouldn't ask Arizona. Since she had heard she had cheated on Callie she had avoided her. Sure, Owen had cheated on her too once, but Arizona hadn't been drunk and hurt and broken like Owen had been. And she didn't want to bother Owen with her unpunctual period – he had gone through enough the last days. Finally she decided to page Alex even if she wasn't amused by the thought of Alex examining her girl parts, but she felt she could trust him.  
She went to one of the examination rooms of gynecology and waited for Alex.

"Yang you paged me?" He looked surprised as he opened the door.

"Yeah, I did. Um… I… wondered if … you could… um…"

"Stop stammering. What's up Yang?" She already felt really awkward. _Stupid idea!_

"Do you have a patient for me or is it something else?" He tried to get more information.

"Patient."

"So where's he…or she?"

"Me… it's me."

"You? And you paged ME? Well I see Mer's not here today… So how can I help you? Have you got a burn on your ass again?" He grinned. Now she really felt very uncomfortable. "Oh come on, Cristina, it can't be that bad and I'm a doctor you don't have to be ashamed of anything. You'll see I can be very professional." His grin got even wider.

"Stop grinning!" She snapped but then sighed. "Okay, well. You know I'm a woman and women get-"

"Yang, get to the point!"

"Okay, okay! I'm three days late."

"Late? You mean late for your period?"

"No late for the tax computation." She gave him a glare.

"Okay, I get it, calm down. Well there are some reasons for being late."

"I know, I'm a doctor, too. But I'm far too young for the menopause and I'm definitely not pregnant."

"Psychical stress?" he offered.

"I haven't been late either when a shooter pointed his pistol at my head during a surgery or when I survived a plane crash. I had had PTSD, but I wasn't late. Why the hell should I be late now?" Alex shrugged.

"So you want me to examine you?"

"Yes, there has to be something wrong with me."

"Okay then you'll get to know the professional Dr. Karev." He started grinning again.

"I don't care just stop grinning." She commanded.

"Okay, maybe we should start with an ultra sound to just exclude pregnancy and look if we can see anything strange there." Cristina sighed again but nodded because this was the less embarrassing part. She laid down and put her scrub top up. Alex turned on the ultra sound. The gel felt cold on her abdomen. She stared at the monitor but wasn't able to understand what she saw at this moment.

"Alex, what… what is that?"

"That's a … fetus."

"A… what? Seriously?"

"Seriously."

"This is a joke. It has to be." Cristina started to laugh loudly. "There is no possibility I'm pregnant."

"But still, there's a fetus."

"But I haven't had sex since my last period."

"Well I guess your last period is four weeks ago now?"

"Of course, Dr. Mastermind."

"But this is a FETUS, Cristina, I didn't say embryo, I said fetus. Some women still have a little monthly bleeding when they're pregnant." He looked at the screen. "I guess it's nine weeks old." Cristina blankly stared at him for a few seconds.

"Ten." She said.

"What?"

"Ten weeks. It's ten weeks old." She blushed automatically as she thought about the frenetic lust she had felt and shared with Owen ten weeks ago.

"Oh, okay. Well… is Hunt…um… or someone else?" Alex obviously felt uncomfortable. She breathed deeply.

"Owen." She just said. _Damn._ She thought and buried her face in her hands. Things had worked out so well with her and Owen. They could rely on each other, and she really didn't want to lose him – again. And there was no way she would be lying to him about anything. She had sworn herself she would never lie to him again as she had lied to him during the hospital's law suit.  
She remembered when she had been pregnant the last time: Things had been fantastic and then she found out she was pregnant and everything between her and Owen went wrong.

"Why is this always happening to me?" She spoke out loud. Alex sighed and patted her shoulder.

"I mean: Seriously? I have only got one fallopian tube left and I'm on the pill – I'm on the pill since I'm 18. But nevertheless I got pregnant the third damn time." She continued.

"Have you ever thought about the fact that you or your hormones might not be compatible with your pill?" Alex suggested Cristina stared at him and buried her face in her hands again.

"I think, I have to think… about things."

"Yeah I guess I'll leave you alone then." Alex got up.

"Alex, don't tell anybody, please!"

"I won't. Your secret is safe with me." He smiled.

"Thank you." Cristina felt helpless. She didn't know what to do. She felt like crying. And somehow she felt the need to talk to Owen right now. She trusted him so deeply and she needed his comfort. But she knew she couldn't turn to Owen with this. She had to work things out for herself before she could talk to him. She wiped the gel away from her abdomen with a tissue and got up. She would go home early tonight.

_Can I bear hurting you again, Owen?_

**_Okay, this was the chapter some of you hoped for and some of you feared. Even if this is all drama, I tried to give it a little funny touch. Did it work? I'll do my best to be realistic in the next chapters! Tell me what you think about it!_**


	14. 21st January - Elevator

_**Just a sweet scene to add.**_

21st January – Elevator

Owen was on his way down to the ER as he saw Cristina getting into an elevator. His face and mood brightened as he saw her, she had been there for him the last days, she had comforted him and he knew if she hadn't supported and strengthened him he would have been much more depressed. He was deeply grateful. He hurried so he would catch the elevator she just entered, fortunately they would be alone.

He saw her face looked like a mask as he got nearer. Nobody else could tell but he knew she was upset and hiding something behind it. He also knew it would be better not to ask, she would tell herself if she was ready to do so. She didn't look at him as he entered the elevator but as the doors closed she closed her eyes and let her mask fell. He could see something was really wrong with her, but still he knew better than to ask. He leaned next to her against the wall and hoped his mere presence would calm her and made her feel better, just like she had made him feel better before.

"I love you." She suddenly said still staring straight ahead.

"I love you, too." He tried to lay all his love in those four words. The elevator doors opened and he got out. She stayed inside.


	15. 28th January - Sisters

28th January

Cristina rang the bell of Meredith's door.

"Come in, what's the matter?" Meredith asked as she opened the door. Cristina followed her into the living room.

"Is Derek home?" she asked looking around she wanted to talk with her alone.

"No he's out with the kids actually. What's up with you? You've been acting strange over the past week!" That was true: Since Cristina found out she was pregnant she felt helpless with the whole situation and she really needed to talk about it, that's why she came here.  
At first she didn't know how to start, how to tell her best friend, but then she thought: _Why should I complicate it in front of Mer even more than it already is? _She sat down on the living room's sofa.

"I'm pregnant." She just stated.

"You – what?" Meredith's mouth fell open. "Do you have a sex-friend or something again and didn't tell me?" She asked.

"No – no sex-friend!"

"Well but who? Who?" She looked at Cristina who blushed and stared at the floor. "Owen?" Cristina remained silent.

"But when? Why? How? Why didn't you tell me?" Meredith looked quite shocked, Cristina sighed.

"Eleven weeks ago today, when I had the malpractice suit. I was really shattered and I drank Tequila and, well, somehow I found myself sitting in front of Owen's apartment and then on his bed. He comforted and caressed me and I kinda begged him to give me just one more night to give me something to remember and cling to…" She confessed. "Well and then we had one more night and it really was something to remember…" She trailed off. Meredith's mouth was still open.

"Have- have you slept with him again since then?"

"No, no we were professional – have been – mostly."

"So you're telling me you're eleven weeks pregnant with Owen's – your ex-husband's – child?" Meredith still looked incredulous.

"Yes."

"Since when do you know?"

"For exactly one week now."

"So – what are you going to do?" She continued because Cristina just stared at her: "Are you going to abort it or are you going to keep it?"

"I – I don't know."

"Have you told Owen?"

"Not yet, but I will, that's what I'm sure about. I won't lie to him again – never – and I don't want to hide a secret from him."

"You still love him." Meredith stated.

"I do – have always done – have never stopped." She closed her eyes, Meredith hugged her tightly.

"And what do you want for your life?"

"I just don't know anymore." Cristina sighed again.

"But when you're eleven weeks pregnant there's not that much time left to decide!"

"I know, Mer, I know!" She sounded desperately. Meredith just kept holding her for few more minutes in silence. Finally Cristina stretched out on the sofa and placed her head in Meredith's lap. She already felt a little better being comforted by her chosen sister.

"Cristina, I know that sounds very stereotype, but you have to listen to your heart. What do you really want deep down inside?" Cristina looked up at the ceiling.

"Being a Cardio Goddess." She said without hesitation. She closed her eyes while Meredith absent-mindedly played with strands of Cristina's black curls.

"Owen." Cristina added as she opened her eyes again. "But there's the problem: I want to be a great surgeon and I want Owen and I want Owen to be happy and I want me to be happy and I want to be honest with Owen and I don't want anything to distract me from being a surgeon. But the feelings I have towards Owen are already distracting me from being a surgeon but I cannot turn them off, and don't want to, because loving him is despite everything a good feeling. But Owen wants and needs to be a father and he only wants to be the father of my child." She remembered Owen's words when he spoke with Teddy on the phone _If I can't have hers I don't want any._ "But a child still is not what I want. I want to be a great surgeon and happy with Owen, but he wouldn't be happy like that. I know and he now knows, too. And unfortunately I'm _again _pregnant with his child and this is giving my whole Cardio-Goddess-Owen-happy-life-baby-problem a very short deadline! If I terminate the pregnancy and tell Owen – and I will definitely tell him, he deserves to now – I'm sure he will be broken and hurt and disappointed and he will never ever talk to me again and he will hate me! And I can't bear him hating me. But if I don't terminate it and um… keep the… the fetus, well the… baby… I…I don't know. I think I shouldn't be a mother and I still don't want to." The thought of her keeping the child and thinking of it as a 'baby' felt strange to her. She hadn't thought of the fetus as a baby yet but of something invading her body.

"It seems you want a lot of things that are incompatible with each other." Meredith commented as Cristina finished her monologue.

"I'm maybe incompatible with the pill, by the way." Cristina interposed incoherently. _I also may be incompatible with happiness._ She thought. She remembered the last time she had been pregnant and Owen had tried to convince her to think about having a baby: _Just sit with this for a little while, this terrible idea that you might love a baby. _

"What shall I do?" she asked Meredith.

"Do you want me to tell you what to do?" Meredith raised an eyebrow.

"No."

"Do you want me to tell you how great it is to be a mother?"

"Neither."

"Do you want me to tell you what a great father Owen would be?"

"NO!"

"He would be great, you know."

"I know…"

"I would love to be a godmother anyways!" Meredith smiled looking in the distance.

"You're pretty unhelpful right now, Mer. Just shut up and be my person."

"I am."

_I would love to be with my other person though._


	16. 4th February - Owen: All Of Me

_**Okay, I really tried to be realistic with this one. I watched episodes 7x22 and 5x24 and several others like a dozen times to stay Close to the show. I think I'm already going crazy...**_

4th February – Owen

Owen stared at the screen of his cell phone. Cristina had texted him, the text said: _Meet me at the fire house at 8 p.m. We need to talk. C_  
Owen was surprised, he hadn't known Cristina still hadn't sold the fire house and he was surprised she had texted him at all or wanted to see him or wanted to talk to him. They had got closer again since Christmas and especially since the death of his mother – she had really eased his pain. But for two weeks now – since she had told him she loved him – she had been dissociating herself from him again and she had seemed to be really upset with something. He had kept wondering if he had done anything wrong but he couldn't think of anything. So he was hoping she would enlighten him tonight about what was wrong with her. But on the other hand he was a little afraid that she wanted to break the tie completely. He was afraid she would leave the town and him forever. When she broke up with him eleven months ago he had suspected her to leave the town somehow, but she hadn't and he was glad she didn't.

He got into his pick-up at quarter to eight and drove over to the fire house. As he arrived he found she hadn't exchanged the lock and his key still fitted. He had kept the key as a keepsake. Driving here and climbing up the all too familiar stairs felt strange to him and thousands of memories flooded his mind – it was almost painful. Especially with the fear of Cristina leaving his life forever crawling up his back.

He reached the top of the stairs and took a look around. There were a lot of packing cases with Cristina's stuff and most of the furniture was still there – covered with dust. Cristina herself was pacing around in the bedroom area.

"Hey" he called over, she looked at him.

"Hey" he couldn't read her face.

"What's the matter?" He walked across the room and smiled at her trying to reassure her to talk to him.

"I… um… I think you should sit down." She bit her lip. He could tell she felt really uncomfortable and was up to tell him something difficult. His fears grew bigger and he braced himself for the worst. He sat down on the mattress of the bed, in which they had shared so much love. She started pacing in front of him again kneading her hands.

"I'm not very good at this, you know, talking."

"I know, Cristina, I know you, and it's okay. Just say what you need to." He encouraged her.

"Umm… do you remember Dr. Campbell?" she finally asked.

"What?" That really was the most unexpected question he could have thought of in that very moment.

"Dr. Campbell? Of course I remember her." He smiled a bit to himself. He remembered that one very well: Cristina had called her a dinosaur and she had heard it causing a really awkward situation. In the following Cristina had kind of bullied her during Dr. Campbell's own surgery and was thrown out of the OR for that. But in the end Campbell had decided that that surgery had been her last. He remembered telling her that night he wanted to be around the following forty years from then on. But he couldn't tell why she would think of her right now.

"But what's the matter with her?"

"I had to think about her the last days. You said that I am a lot like her. And when I talked to her after the surgery she had thrown me out of, she said I would wake up one day and find that I am her. And she asked me what I will have then…"

_Where's this going? _He wondered.

"That evening you told me you wanted to be around for the next forty years. And I knew the answer to her question was you. I would have you. But apparently I don't have you." She continued her thoughts.

"What are you saying, Cristina?" he interrupted her.

"Owen, please just listen for a while. I don't have you because I broke up with you. And I broke up with you for reasons. And I… I know and I told you I was made for the OR. And tried to move on, I really tried and you tried, too. But I think of you all the time. I… I see you and my heart gives me a painful sting because I feel I need you, but I don't have you, I want to be with you. When I see you everything… Everything inside of me longs to touch you. I want to kiss every bit of you. I… I see you right now and I long to press myself right against you because I need to feel you. I dream of you like every night and before I fall asleep I think of you and I imagine being in your arms because I cannot sleep when I'm not in your arms because I need you. I pine for you. Because I… I… I. Love. You." She sounded desperate. Owen's mouth had fallen open. He knew how hard it was for Cristina to say such things, to express her feelings.

"And I want to be with you, Owen. With you. I can't breathe without you. Still. It sounds crazy but I feel like having asthma without you. I want you, Owen. I want to be with you. I want to have you when there's nothing left." She tore her hair still pacing the room. "I know I was made for the OR, but I now think, that I maybe was also made for you." Owen blinked a few times he just did not know what say at first.

"I love you, too." He finally managed to say.

"You don't have to say that."

"But I do." Now it was his time to talk he decided. "I love you Cristina with my heart and my brain and my whole body and my soul. I love you like crazy. I'm desperate and crazy and so addicted to you. I fell in love with you when I first saw you and since then I haven't fallen out of love with you. No matter how hard I tried. I know I cannot be happy without you, but you broke up with me for a reason. It took me some time to see but I can see clearly now, what you already saw before. We just want different things, Cristina. And that hasn't changed. I don't know what to do about it, but it's still existent."

"Owen" she took a deep breath. "I know I want things in my life that are not compatible with each other and I… I thought about some things. I'm a scientist. I make my decisions rationally. I thought I would be happy only being a cardio goddess. But I'm not. I would be happy being a cardio goddess and being with you. But you wouldn't be happy like this. And I know if you're not happy I'm not. You want to be a father. I know it and you know it. I said I don't want children and I don't want to be a mother. But how do I know?"

_What?_

"I'm a scientist and as a scientist I make logical decisions and we tried the other options before. And I… I…"

"Cristina what are you talking about?"

"Maybe I could… we could… try… we would be… I… I'm…" She was obviously running out of words.

"Cristina, are you trying to tell me what I think you are?"

"Probably."

"Cristina I want you in my life and I want to have a baby with you." Cristina swallowed. "But I don't want you to be unhappy! I don't want you to give up anything or to give me something just because I want it. I want you to want it too. I am not going to force you into anything. I don't want you to do a thing you don't want."

"Maybe I could want it…" Cristina muttered.

"Cristina, I want to share my life with you and you want to share your life with me. But that doesn't work! We know it. It doesn't work without one of us getting unhappy. I won't let you be the one sacrificing for me. You were trying to tell me that we could try having a baby. But you don't-"

"OWEN!" She interrupted him. "I am pregnant!"

And for the second time this evening his mouth fell open.

_**I splitted this chapter in order to Change perspective. So the next chapter will be Cristina's point of view. Sorry for the cliffhanger ;)**_


	17. 4th February-Cristina: Dreams come true

_**I think this somehow was the hardest chapter ever to write.  
**__**Caution: This chapter is M-Rated.**_

4th February – Cristina

Owen stared at her for a few seconds.

"Wh- What?"

"I am pregnant." She repeated calmly. _Please Owen, just take it in! _But he still didn't seem to understand, his mouth still open.

"Fr- From me?" he stammered, she nodded. "But we… it's been a while…" Cristina took a deep breath to steady herself, it had been hard to finally tell him.

"I'm 12 weeks pregnant now. You know, after the law suit…" She stared at the floor, she was somehow afraid he regretted sleeping with her again. _Stop being afraid!_ She commanded herself but she still was. Afraid of everything that was going on.

"I … oh… 12 weeks?" he still seemed to be dumbfounded and closed his eyes for a few moments. The last days her thoughts had been spinning around and she had often asked herself not only what she wanted for now but what she needed when there was nothing left. And she knew she would lose Owen forever if she decided to terminate the pregnancy: There was only so much sorrow he could take, she knew, and Owen had experienced a lot of sorrow. Still she wasn't sure about having a child but she thought she really didn't know what it would be like. _Maybe I will be happy, I don't know that!_ And she knew the possibility of having Owen and his child was certainly better than having nothing but surgery. Her life couldn't consist of just surgery. She hadn't known that before, but she could see it clearly know, after she had again been separated from Owen.  
He opened his eyes again.

"12 weeks? Are you going to …um…I mean are you planning to… well…" he obviously couldn't express what he feared: An abortion. Cristina could see the angst and pain in his face.

"Have you listened to me? Owen, may I remind you I just poured out my heart to you. I said I need you. I said I love you. I said I think I was made for you. Me. Cristina Yang. I don't say things like those if I don't mean them. You know that. I was trying to tell you that I'm pregnant with your child and that we're doing this – if you're in."

"I… what? I… of course I'm in… I… we're going to do this?" He stood up.

"We're going to do this and that scares the crap out of me!" she almost shouted. He couldn't suppress a smile it seemed like he finally caught up with what she was really telling him.

"Cristina… I… um… can I kiss you?" In her head she screamed _Please! Do it! Now! Please! _But she just smiled and took a step forward. He came closer and took her face in his hands and kissed her lips lightly but soon stopped and moved back. She had to stop herself from pouting.

"I don't want to force you. I don't want to make you unhappy. I don't want to take anything from you. Are you sure?"

"Owen, I'm not sure, of course not. But you're not taking something from me, it's more like I'm giving something to us. And I made myself unhappy by staying away from you. And you're not forcing me. I made this decision. It's my decision, because it's my life and my body, okay? But I made this decision. This is the third damn time I got pregnant by accident and I don't believe in anything, but it seems the world or something just wants me to have a child. And still I'm scared to my bones and not sure and I'm definitely not going to do all this creepy oh-my-god-we're-going-to-have-a-baby-I'm-so-happy- it's-going-to-be-so-cute sappy stuff. No way!"

He smiled and shook his head.

"Could you repeat that? I think I need to hear it again. I… it… it still hasn't really sunk in yet…" he asked her.

"What? The 'I-don't-do-sappy' part?" He chuckled.

"No more like the facts."

"Okay: I'm pregnant, 12 weeks, it's your child and we're going to have it. Like that?"

"Like that."

Cristina was relieved, she finally did it. But still there were a lot of questions and fears which needed to be dealt with. _That has to wait for a few more moments!_ She told herself, because there was something else which needed to be done first. He still smiled at her as she suddenly jumped at him. She wrapped her legs around his waist clinging to his neck with her hands. She crushed his lips with hers. _This has to feel like an attack to him._ She thought as she licked his upper lips. But as his tongue invaded her mouth with such ferventness she realized his need for her was as urgent as hers for him. His hands soon found their place in her hair. She pressed her body against his, she could feel his erection – those clothes which still separated their skins were unbearable. He stumbled to the bed hastily taking of her clothes. He laid her down caressing her breasts, but then hesitated staring at her stomach.

"Can I touch it?" He asked. She could again see some pain in his eyes. She remembered the last time she had told him she was pregnant. She had refused to let him touch her, touch her where a new life was about to grow.

"There's not much to be seen or to be felt, it doesn't move yet, you know. But… well… it's your child…so introduce yourself." Cristina still felt weird letting these images of a baby made of her and Owen flood her mind. She was still afraid of all those things she had decided to let happen. But all the love she could see written on Owen's face as he touched the light curve of her stomach warmed her heart.

"I can definitely feel a difference, you know, I know your body very well." He smirked.

"I can't believe I'm going to be fat and ugly in a few months." She had to confess this was one part she really feared.

"You're not going to be ugly and 'fat' is just the wrong word for that. Right now I think you've never been sexier." His voice became rough. "It seems like a miracle to me. It is a miracle. There's something from me inside of you. Something made of you and me." He lavished the curve with light tickling kisses.

"I see you're going to do the sappy-stuff." She teased.

"I certainly am." He whispered removing her panties. He kissed her inner thigh arousing her. She bent down to him helping him out of his clothes and pushed him to lie on his back. He looked up to her full of expectation. She gave him a wicked grin and started going down on him. He moaned with his hands still in her hair, but soon interrupted her.

"It's been… too long. I can't hold back… if you're…doing this to me." He gasped. Instead he pushed her so she lay on her back. He lightly bit one of her breasts and massaged her clit she writhed in response. He again caressed the curve of her stomach giving her a loving smile before he entered her with his full length. He closed his eyes, she panted.

"Cristina… I… I…"

"You don't have to say anything right now. I already know." She drew his head down to kiss him her tongue filling his mouth like he filled her and started to move beneath him. He quickly caught up with her rhythm. Soon all of her fears were blown from Cristina's mind giving room for sensational physical feelings, her moans got louder. She had always been a loud one. She gripped his butt, his hands were roaming all over her body. As they both started to lose all of their control their eyes locked, their lips meeting occasionally. She screamed high-pitched and he groaned loudly as they climaxed. Recovering from their high their foreheads and noses touched, their eyes were closed, their hands in each other's hair, panting.  
As their breathing steadied he lay on his back, she placed her head on his chest guiding his hand to her belly, knowing he would long to touch it. But her concerns reappeared.

"Owen?"

"Yes."

"I'm afraid."

"I know." He hugged her tightly. "We're going to do this. We're gonna make it. Okay? We'll find a solution for everything. We'll work it out. I promise. One step at a time."

"Okay." She nevertheless couldn't hold back a few tears dripping on his chest, she had held it back for so long.

"Shh…" he made. "I'm here Cristina, do you hear me? I'm here, we're in this together. You're not alone." She calmed down again, although there still were a lot of things she was afraid of, but they could wait, she decided.

"Since when do you know you're pregnant?" He asked her playing absent-mindedly with her earlobe.

"For two weeks."

"Oh…okay that explains it."

"What?"

"That was the day you told me you love me in that elevator. You looked upset and seemed distant since that day…"

"Well…that…that was the only thing I knew for sure then… that I love you." He kissed her forehead in response. After a while Owen got up found a few blankets in one of Cristina's packing cases.

Cristina felt safe resting for sleep in Owen's arms. She knew she had made an irreversible step that night. She still wasn't sure how she should feel about it, but lying in Owen's arms she knew it could not be that wrong.

"You know, it's going to be cute though." He whispered in her ear before she fell asleep.


	18. 11th February

_**Now here I got some sappy stuff from Owen's pov for you - just like some of you wished, but I was going to write it anyway ;) Thank you for all your great reviews, they made me dance around in my room! By the way: I would really like a job as one of the writers of the show (like one of you suggested - making me blush), but unfortunately I really don't know how to contact them :D**_

11th February

Owen opened the door to the on-call room he knew Cristina slept in right now. She had had a busy night with a crashing cardio patient. She had had the patient stable and was ought to operate on him just that day at 9 a.m. but the patient's heart had crashed again and couldn't be revived. Owen was about to tell her the bad news, he sighed.  
He watched her sleeping form for a while. She was cuddled up in the sheets, obviously fast asleep making little snores. He simply loved that noise. He couldn't believe he was again able to listen to it at night. Well, he couldn't quite believe a few things at present. She had come back to him, she still loved him and they were going to have a baby. This was the most unbelievable part.  
For one week now he felt like he lived in a dream and he had to keep telling himself it was all real. She was real, she was with him, _my child is in her!_ That thought always made him feel dizzy. _I'm going to have a child with the most incredible woman in the whole world!_

He lay down next to her in the bed and caressed her face, she stirred.

"Good morning, sweetheart!" he whispered and gave her a light kiss on her rosy lips.

"Good morning" she smiled and stretched "The last time you called me 'sweetheart' is probably a year ago now."

He chuckled.

"I just like to call you, what I now you truly are, at least to me. Do you mind?"

"I love it." She confessed. "But don't get used to it too much, so you won't call me something like it in front of my interns! You're the only one who was ever allowed to call me sweetheart."

"I think I am honored. I truly am."

She kissed him.

"So what time is it?" She finally asked.

"8 a.m."

"I've got surgery at 9."

"Well concerning that surgery there's something I need to tell you…" he trailed off.

"Mr. Wills? He is dead, is he?" She looked anxious.

"Yes, I am sorry, he is."

"Why wasn't I paged?"

"Dr. Russell was there…"

"Mr. Wills was such a fighter!" She said sadly, he embraced her. Suddenly he felt a sting in his chest as he was reminded of his mother. He closed his eyes for the pain was still very fresh.

"Owen, what is it?" She whispered as she realized the pain written on his face.

"I… It makes me very sad my mother will never get to know our child. She would have been so proud and excited – just like I am. I… it just hurts." She held him close and he hid his face in her hair inhaling her beloved scent.

"Owen, I know that pain won't disappear so soon and it will never disappear entirely – I know it. My dad never really got to know me, never got to know the woman I became." She looked in the distance. He tried to push all those sad thoughts of his mother aside and let his hands wander to her stomach. He could definitely feel a slight curve – too small to be seen when she wore her scrub top, but he could feel it and when she wasn't wearing anything he could most definitely see it, too. Every time he touched it he couldn't help but smile.

"Owen" she interrupted his sweet thoughts "Don't you dare dying before our child is forty or something!" He loved it when she said 'our child'.

"I'll do my very best!" he promised. "The same applies for you!"

"Well I had my share of adventure – a shooter pointing his gun to my head, a plane crash – the one thing I really fear for is surviving this pregnancy!"

"You will" he kissed her nose. "You've always been a tough one." Cristina kissed him temptingly teasing him with her tongue.

"So I don't have to be in surgery right now… this gives us some time, right?"

"Well spotted." He said huskily pushing up the hem of her scrub top. She gave him a wicked grin, took off his scrub top and rolled on top of him. His hands wandered to her butt as she bent down to kiss him passionately. They had just started making out in earnest as his pager went off. They both sighed in unison.

"Gotta get to the ER. You should have some more rest." He told her as he put his scrub top on again. She knelt behind him on the bed and kissed his neck. He smiled to himself, he loved all those little loving gestures. He loved knowing she was all his again.

"I'm going to get up though. Gonna check on some other patients." She said as he got up.

"Okay, see you later." He gave her one last longing kiss and then bent down to push her scrub top up once more and kissed her navel.

"See you in six months" he whispered to his unborn child.

"See you later, Sappy!" Cristina called after him a huge grin on her face. He chuckled and left.


	19. 18th February

_**Getting fluffier every chapter ;)**_

18th February

Cristina and Owen sat in Owen's pick-up and drove to work. They were late. Cristina had spent the night at Owen's place and after they had had the sweetest of morning love-making there hadn't been much time left – not even for breakfast.

"I think we should tell our friends." Owen just said.

"What? Like now?" Cristina was slowly getting used to the thought of being pregnant and having a child – but the thought of telling the world terrified her.

"Well, it's going to be obvious soon and I guess telling would be better than everybody asking you if you're pregnant or probably eating too much." He smiled. The thought of everybody asking her was even more terrifying. She sighed.

"Well, okay, you're right: Telling them would probably be better. Mer and Alex already know anyhow."

"Alex knows?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, he examined me when I thought I was late for my period… Mer wasn't available so I asked him. It was rather awkward but he hasn't told anyone." Owen chuckled at the thought of that awkward situation.

"Well I thought the attendings' meeting regarding the solo surgery today would be a good occasion." He suggested.

"The attendings' meeting? Seriously!?" _This is a joke! _She thought.

"Well, all our friends will be present, there are only a few colleagues we're not close with and we'll have to tell them as well. That would be quick – like I thought you would prefer – and there wouldn't be a chance for any rumors to be spread."

"But that's so official…" Cristina wasn't persuaded.

"But you're officially pregnant now." He said teasingly. "You're fourteen weeks pregnant now, there are only 26 weeks left."

"Are you trying to scare me here?"

"No" he chuckled. "just stating the facts." He reached out for her hand and she squeezed it. _Relax, Cristina, relax! _She told herself.

"I will do the talking, you just have to smile." He offered her.

"Okay." She gave in. "But, please, don't be too sappy and don't make a speech! And – what's just occurring to me – what about Dr. Leoni? Have you told her already? She will know that this" – she pointed at her stomach – "happened when you were still with her. You kinda cheated on her with me."

"Oh… Mary." He obviously hadn't thought about her yet. "I think I should talk to her beforehand in private. And I rather feel like I cheated on you with her… do you blame me for dating her?" He asked as he parked and turned off the engine. She looked him straight in the eye and took a deep breath.

"No, the thought of you with another woman was not really welcome, but I told you to try. And if you hadn't tried we wouldn't know that THIS is right." She again squeezed his hand.

"Have you tried?" He asked.

"I did actually… before." She thought of Dr. Parker and immediately felt disgusted. "But that's past and I really don't want to talk about it – or think." Her face looked like she smelled something really bad.

"It's okay" He chuckled again, "you don't have to talk about it, I'm sure I don't really wanna know." He kissed her and they left the car.

"So we're going to do this today?" He concluded.

"Yes, you persuaded me: Tell Leoni first and then tell our friends… I can already picture Callie's and April's reaction…" She rolled her eyes as they walked into the hospital. "So see you later then!" She said and kissed him. He smiled at her and they headed in different directions.

* * *

Cristina was the first to enter the conference room, after Owen as the Chief of Surgery of course.

"Hey there now!" he greeted her, they kissed.

"So have you talked to her?" She wanted to know before the other attendings would arrive.

"Mary? Yeah I did actually. It was not exactly a pleasant chat, but now she knows. She said she had suspected the whole time we dated I am still in love with you – and she was right." He hugged her. Meredith and Bailey entered the room and Cristina took a seat next to her best friend.

"And? Who are you going to vote?" Meredith asked.

"I think I'll vote for Grumpy, she's efficient, smart and ambitious – much like I was – and I was voted unanimously."

"Still calling them by their dwarf names? But I thought you would vote for Edwards. I think I'll vote for Brooks however."

After all attendings had arrived Owen greeted them and started elaborating on the solo surgery.

"The surgery will take place today at 6 p.m. and it will almost traditionally be an appendectomy – Dr. Bailey" – he nodded to her – "will supervise the surgery and intervene if something goes wrong. So I will initiate the vote now: Who votes for Dr. Murphy?" Dr. Bailey and Dr. Nelson raised their hands.

At the end of the vote there were two votes each for Ross and Murphy, three votes for Brooks and Wilson and six votes for Dr. Edwards, which made her the winner. Dr. Leoni volunteered to go and tell her to prepare herself. She obviously wanted to escape what she knew would be following – Cristina wished she could join her.

"So" Owen began "there is something else I – well we – wanted to tell you for most of you are very close friends of us: As you already may have noticed Cristina and I finally found each other again." He smiled at her she smiled back but blushed and stared at the floor. "And it's time to tell you as our friends and dear colleagues that – well – that we're expecting. More precisely Cristina does but I'm very expectant, too." He was all smiles – and so was the rest of the room.

Derek was the first to speak: "Well, congratulations then!" – And the word 'congratulations' was echoed very often by several other people. Cristina was sure she was as read as a tomato but she smiled nevertheless. Meredith gave her a kiss on the cheek and Cristina grabbed her hand in response.

"Aw, Cristina, this is so great – I can't believe it, I'm so excited!" Callie exclaimed.

"Awww! This is so cute!" April, who sat at Cristina's other side, squeaked and was about to touch Cristina's belly, but she caught April's hand in midair.

"Apes, no touching! I'm serious!" She gave Owen a pleading look.

"Okay thank you, so this meeting is over now!" He declared and people left the room leaving the two of them alone. Cristina sighed in relief.

"It's done!" Owen said and kissed her forehead.

"Thank god!" Cristina sighed repeatedly. Owen hugged her from behind.

"Owen?"

"Yeah"

"I wondered… shouldn't we find a new place?"

"We certainly should… maybe we can re-find a place." He suggested she smiled knowingly.

"I wondered… are you happy? I mean _happy_-happy?" He asked as he inhaled the scent of her hair.

Cristina thought for a moment but she knew beneath her fears she was.

"Yes."


	20. 11th March

11th March

Owen went up the stairs of the fire house carrying two packing cases with stuff from his apartment. They had decided to move back there since Cristina still hadn't sold it. At first Cristina had had reservations about moving back there because some really bad memories stuck to this place, but Owen had persuaded her to come back. He simply loved this place and there were also a lot of sweet memories sticking to it. And after all they had overcome all their struggles and had found their way back into each other's arms.

He smiled as he spotted Cristina – he had been smiling a lot over the last weeks and he didn't feel like stopping to smile. Cristina lay on her back on the bed reading an old medical journal she had obviously found in one of her packing cases, holding the journal over her head. She wore a close-fitting red sweatshirt emphasizing the curve of her belly.  
He loved that one could finally see she was pregnant. He loved thinking about his child being in her. He loved thinking about how it would look like. He loved thinking about how it would feel to be a father and to have Cristina as the mother of his child. _I really am a happy man!_ He thought. And truly he couldn't recall if he had ever been as happy as he was now since Cristina had told him she was pregnant and keeping the child to be a family with him.

He put the packing cases down and went over to her. He knelt down on the bed between her legs and stroked her stomach. He looked at her: She had put down the journal and watched him smiling.

"How are you?" He asked.

"Good, I'm good!" She replied. Fortunately she was mostly good. She had hardly been nauseous, she had told him, and at least towards him she wasn't moody – not more than usual. And he was that filled with endorphin he wouldn't have mind if she was.

He leaned down to kiss her tenderly.

"You know, I thought we could throw a house-re-warming party for our friends." He suggested.

"A party? You know I can't drink any alcohol or at least I shouldn't." With her hand she met his, which was still caressing her belly.

"No you certainly shouldn't, but I'm sure you can have fun without beer, red wine or tequila. And I would love to invite our friends – I just feel like celebrating! But I won't elaborate on all the things I want to celebrate, I would get too gooey for your taste." He gave her a knowing grin, she laughed.

"Well, for my taste you are gooey just the right degree – as long as we're in private. But okay a little party would be fun. Don't invite too much friends!"

"Oh that will be great, I thought about maybe next week? That would give us enough time to unpack everything and prep it."

"You mean you prep everything – not WE!"

He laughed.

"I guess that's what it means. So next week?"

"Deal, you prep everything and I won't be moody when our friends are here."

He kissed her again.

"Well the both of us could start celebrating your everything right now." She said trying to look as innocent as possible, but he could see the spark in her eyes.

"Celebrating coming right up." He kissed her fervently pushing her deeper into the cushions. His hands roamed all over her body: He reached into her hair, stroked her chest and breasts and stomach, gripped her butt, caressed her thighs. Kissing her he groaned deeply.  
She lightly pulled his hair, forced him to strip off his shirt, passed her hands over his chest and back, pushed herself up to meet his thighs, wrapped her legs around his waist.  
Making out they were blind for everything else.

"Excuse us." The voice of Meredith interrupted them. Startled they got up from the bed. Meredith, Derek and Alex stood on the top of the stairs carrying further packing cases. Owen blushed and put his shirt back on. For him this was a really awkward situation.

"We wanted to help you and brought some of Cristina's stuff from my – I mean Alex' house. The door was unlocked – you should certainly close it properly when you are making out like this! We're sorry to interrupt you." Meredith raised an eyebrow. Derek was obviously awkward and amused at the same time, Alex just grinned widely.

"Well…yeah… um I forgot to close it." Owen stammered.

"Yeah, thank you for bringing my stuff." Cristina acted rather cool. "We just thought we could throw a house-re-warming party, you're all invited!" She quickly changed the subject.

"O yeah that's cool. When?" Meredith asked putting down the packing case.

"We thought maybe today in a week?"

"Nice idea, we'll be there. But I guess we now leave you better alone!" Derek said winking at Owen, who was very glad they were about to leave for now. Not only because this situation was all very awkward but also because he still felt a certain need for Cristina.  
Alex and Derek already went down the stairs again, Owen could hear Meredith whisper to Cristina: "You two looked very hot making out like that!"

"We're always hot." Cristina replied. Owen could feel himself blushing again. After Meredith had left Cristina walked back to the bed grinning wickedly.

"So let's have a party then!"


	21. 18th March

18th March

Cristina was late for her own party. The heart-transplant surgery she just did took longer than planned because of complications but after all the heart beat in its new owner as it should. She had instructed Mousy to text Owen she would be late. He had done all the preparations for the party and he had also made the fire-house a homelike place again.

As she made her way up the stairs she saw Meredith, Derek and Bailey (Dr. Bailey of course) chatting on her sofa. Jackson, April and Callie were munching on some food at the kitchen counter. She spotted Owen talking animatedly with Alex and Arizona. He beamed at her as he saw her. She headed to the little buffet Owen had set up, where Jo (who Alex had brought with him) just piled up food on her plate.

"Hello, Dr. Yang! You have got a really nice home here!" Cristina raised her eyebrows given this attempt to have a small talk. She just didn't do small talk. So she just piled up some food herself on her plate in silence.  
Suddenly she felt hands stroking her stomach from behind and somebody blowing a kiss on her neck. She turned around to see Owen. He kissed her passionately – since they were back together he kissed her in public more often and more intensely than he had done before. Out of the corner of her eye Cristina noticed Jo grinning.

"Hey, how was your surgery?" He then greeted her.

"Great, difficult, but simply great! At first the patient's body didn't seem to accept the new heart but then after I massaged it, it just beat how it should." She beamed.

"Very good work, Dr. Yang!" He kissed her again.

"But I'm sorry I was late for our party." She added. "By the way why is nobody dancing on a table?"

"Well I thought that would be your part. I would definitely enjoy that!" He said with twinkling eyes. She noticed Jo was grinning even wider but trying to concentrate on her food.

"Maybe you'll know the promise of a personal performance later." She whispered into his ear and then addressed Jo:

"Wilson, you should drink a glass of Tequila instead of me. This is an order." She commanded smiling. Jo laughed.

"Okay I'll go and get one."

"But I really have to eat now, I'm starving!" Cristina said and dug into her food, Owen laughed and left her alone with her meal. After a few minutes Meredith and Callie made their way over to her.

"Hey, have you heard the rumor Jo might be pregnant as well?" Callie whispered raising her eyebrows.

"What? Seriously? You mean Karev knocked her up? But I just told her to get herself a glass of Tequi-" She broke off her sentence and looked blankly at the wall. She felt strange, something in her felt strange. _Did I ate something bad? _She wondered but the remembered she was pregnant: Her hands wandered to the curve of her belly. Something was different. _Is something wrong with the fetus?_ That thought scared her. Although she still couldn't see herself as a mother yet, she loved how happy Owen was. She had never seen him that happy and that made her happy in turn.

"Cristina? What's the matter? CRISTINA?" Meredith grabbed her hand.

"I…um… follow me." She dragged Meredith into the bathroom leaving a quizzical Callie behind.

"What? What is it?" Meredith asked.

"I… I feel strange… like I'm a fish bowl and the goldfish is swimming circles within me." She said gravely.

"Goldfish? What? You're a fish bowl?"

"I- No! It's… something's wrong with …the fetus." She took Meredith's hands and placed them on her own belly. Till then she had allowed nobody but Owen to touch it but now she was seriously worried.

"Oh! It… moves!" Meredith exclaimed. "That's very early you're only 18th week."

"So… it moves. It moves? The fetus?"

"Yeah it does. You're a doctor, Cristina, you should know that!"

"I do know that, I just didn't expect it to move now already. And I didn't expect it to feel that… fish-like." Cristina tried to calm down on the outside but inside of her things were moving – not only the fetus but thoughts and emotions. The fact that the baby finally moved made everything more real to her. The feeling to protect the tiny moving creature inside of her grew stronger.

"Wanna come back with me?" Meredith interrupted her thoughts.

"I think I just make use of the actual purpose of this room." Cristina told her and her friend left the bathroom. Cristina leaned against the wall and closed her eyes. With her hands she felt the movements within her uterus, you could feel it lightly even on the outside. Simply overwhelmed by her feelings she tried to calm the tiny little something inside her.

"You can calm down now, I will protect you from everything! No need to panic, just relax!"

_Oh my god I just started talking to my unborn child…sappy! _But since it moved it was more to her than just a fetus – it was a real moving baby and maybe it could hear her voice.  
Suddenly somebody knocked at the door, she opened to see April.

"Hey Cristina, are you alright you took really long in there!"

"Yep, I'm fine!" She headed out to find her plate again, she still hadn't eaten up. Inside of her there still was a goldfish producing waves, she wished the party would be over soon. She wanted to tell Owen, but she didn't want all of her friends to know it moved – that just wasn't their business.

* * *

After their friends had all left Owen cleaned up the mess a party always leaves behind and Cristina lay on the bed listening to some music while going through a patient's chart for tomorrow's surgery. As she again felt the baby starting to move she called Owen over.

"Owen! Come over here, quickly!" Owen who looked rather alarmed ran over to the bed.

"What's wrong? Is something wrong with the baby?" He looked at her stomach which she held with her hands.

"No… it's just-" she took his hands and placed them where she know he could feel the movement inside of her. His mouth dropped open and his before puzzled and concerned expression changed first into astonishment and then into pure joy.

"It it… moves. It moves? The baby?" He was all smiles. "What does it feel like?"

"It's like a fish… or maybe like butterflies."

"This is amazing. But wait… I can't feel it anymore." His face was getting concerned again.

"Oh it stopped, maybe your voice calms it." His face lit up again.

"What do you think it will be, or what would you prefer? A boy or a girl?"

"I don't care. I'm just glad it's not twins, that would kill me!" She exclaimed, he smirked.

"I don't care either, but I guess you want to know, when you can."

"Yep, you know me! I'm not very fond of surprises!"

_But maybe I'm becoming fond of having this baby._


	22. 1st April

**_I was quick this time! Thank you very much for your reviews, reading them brightens up my day!_**

1st April

"Do you think this is a good idea?" Cristina asked Owen whose head rested in her lap one ear and one hand pressed to her stomach to feel and to listen to the quiet sounds the baby made when it moved inside of her. They sat on the small couch in the attendings' lounge for a short lunch break – well Cristina sat, Owen was outstretched on the sofa with his legs hanging over the arm rest because the sofa was too short for him.

"What's a good idea?" Owen hadn't really listened concentrating more on their little fish or butterfly or whatever.

"That you come with me to the appointment today at 4:30. I know you would love to see the ultra-sound, but you're aware of the fact that Leoni is the gynecologist, right? Wouldn't that be awkward for everyone involved? The last appointment was awkward enough I think – and I was alone with her then."

"Maybe you're right…" He sighed. "But I really want to see the ultra-sound and today we could probably see which sex our tiny little something is. I feel like I'm in a catch-22 situation." He took a look around in the room – they were alone so he quickly pushed up the hem of her shirt and kissed her bellybutton.

"Can't wait to see you." He whispered and pushed her shirt back down, Cristina laughed about Owen's increasing gooiness.

"I have to confess I can't wait to get to know what it is!" She passes her fingers through his hair. He smiled up at her, he was glad she finally seemed to make her peace with the thought of having a baby and becoming a mother. Glad? Scratch that: He was exuberantly happy about every bit she gave showing she was falling in love with their child, showing she would be happy, showing she was excited, too. He was simply over the moon.

"I can't wait to get to know either, so I'm coming with you – whatever the cost. Mary will have to deal with it anyway. I think it's better if she is thrown in at the deep end right now."

"If you think so, it's rather your problem than mine. So you'll come with me?"

"Yep. Like I said: Can't wait!" He again caressed her stomach.

The door opened and Jackson entered the attendings' lounge smiling at the idyllic picture Cristina and Owen were right now.

"Hey how are you three?" He greeted them. Cristina rolled her eyes, Jackson chuckled as he noticed.

"Everything's fine, Avery. How's your clinical trial? Making progress?" Owen inquired his head still resting in Cristina's lap.

"Oh don't mention this today, Chief, I'm marking time – no progress lately." He confessed and quickly changed the topic: "So do you already know what it's going to be? Boy or girl?"

"Nope, not yet. But maybe we will know after today's appointment." Cristina declared as Owen's pager went off. He groaned.

"Emergency, I'll better be going. I'll do my best to make it on time to the appointment." He got up, gave her a quick peck on the lips and hurried away.

* * *

As he turned around the corner Owen saw Cristina already waiting in front of the examination room.

"Hey" he kissed her boisterously.

"Hey, finished surgery in time?"

"Oh, Kepner covered up for me. Are you excited?" He asked excitedly. She laughed shaking her head.

"I don't know, I'm curious, I think. But you obviously are, that's pretty cute actually, Chief Hunt." She grinned at him as they entered the room. Dr. Leoni was already inside.

"Hello Dr. Yang!" She greeted politely. "Hi Owen." She added equally politely. _Thank god, she's a professional! _Owen sighed inwardly in relief. Cristina lay down on the gurney, Owen took a seat next to her. She put up her scrub top and Owen could see her shiver as Mary applied the cold gel on her stomach. Cristina had closed her eyes – Owen knew she didn't like it when anybody but him touched the curve of her stomach, but this time it was inevitable. As Mary got the ultra-sound the three of them stared intently at the screen. Seeing the baby's shape Owen couldn't suppress a smile forming on his face. He glanced at Cristina: To everybody else her face wouldn't have given away what she felt but Owen could see her eyes glowing.

"You're 20 weeks pregnant now, Cristina, right?" Dr. Leoni asked switching to Cristina's forename.

"Exactly."

"So the date of birth should be around the 12th of August. The fetus is rather small, but that shouldn't be a problem."

"I'm not a very tall person either." Cristina admitted. Mary slightly smiled, Owen squeezed Cristina's hand still staring at the ultra sound.

"Do you eat enough?" Mary asked.

"I eat. A lot."

"Well okay. Do you wanna know the sex of the fetus?"

"YES!" Cristina exclaimed, Owen chuckled about that much excitement of her.

"Don't laugh at me, you want to know, too!" She chided him.

"I do."

"Okay, let's have a look then." Mary said changing the angle of the ultra-sound. Owen was glad this wasn't as awkward with Mary as he had feared.

"So…" Owen held his breath as Mary spoke. "Looks like you'll have a beautiful baby girl." She smiled at them. Cristina and Owen looked at each other also smiling. _A girl. _Owen could already picture himself with a girl as beautiful as Cristina. He would dress her in pink little dresses, he would spoil her, he would play princess with her, he would be her knight, he would do anything. And he could already picture Cristina buying her an Anatomy Jane as soon as their daughter would be old enough to play with dolls.  
Cristina had obviously noticed the dreamy expression on his face and interrupted his thoughts:

"Don't start to think pink!" She said with the sweetest of all smiles.


	23. 6th May

_**Okay, I know this isn't one of my best chapters, but it was kind of necessary. I hope you still enjoy.**_

6th May

Cristina peeked into the conference room and discovered it empty except for Owen.

"Hey!" She greeted him entering the room. Now she was in her third trimester. She had taken all the second trimester's bad moods out on the interns and residents sparing Owen. Her pregnancy had become very visible but she wasn't as big as she could have been because the fetus was very small for the 25th week of pregnancy – she didn't mind that at all, she was rather glad she wasn't that big. If you only saw her from behind you wouldn't even realize she was expecting.

"Hey!" Owen greeted her back, she let herself fall onto his lap, kissing him.

"How are you?" he asked.

"Well, I'm okay, only doing lab stuff today as long as my patients are stable – no interesting surgeries so far."

"How's our little girl?" He always smiled when he talked about the baby.

"Oh, you have to talk some sense in that girl! She keeps kicking me like crazy today. I bet she thinks the lab is boring, she would love a cool surgery as well."

"Seems like we'll have a very vivacious daughter." He chuckled and passed his hands over her stomach searching for some movement.

"So how bad do you suffer from your paperwork?" Cristina asked.

"Oh, it's tough. I know it's wrong but I find myself wishing somebody would crash his car into somebody else's, so I would be paged to save those guys…"

"Well I find myself wishing this every day." She tried to look innocent.

"I know." He smirked. "I wondered…" He hesitated. "Have… um have you thought about names yet?" She knew he was cautious with everything concerning the time after the birth of their girl because he knew she still was afraid of that – of the birth itself and of finally being a mother. But she also knew there were things that needed to be discussed and thought about.

"Not yet, but I know what her name shouldn't be actually."

"And that is?"

"Well there are some things to consider: It shouldn't be too long, otherwise everybody would give her goofy nicknames or other short names."

"Alright, Cris." He teased.

"Exactly that. So I would prefer short."

"Me too."

"I also think the name shouldn't be too extraordinary. I mean we could ask her but I bet it wasn't very much fun to grow up with a name like Arizona."

"Anything else?" He chuckled.

"I wouldn't name her after anybody I know, but then that's it so far. Have you thought about anything in particular?"

"I…" he hesitated again. "No, I've got some ideas, but I'll reconsider them, there's still plenty of time left."

"Yeah, I'm glad there is. What I wondered is: Do you want her to have your surname?"

"I don't insist on that, she could be a Yang if you want."

"Actually I wouldn't mind if she will be a Hunt. I'm sure my genes are quite dominant, so she will pretty much look like me. So it would only be fair if she will be a Hunt." She concluded. His expression got even brighter – if that was possible.

"I would love her to be Hunt." He kissed her tenderly, his tongue caressing her lips.

"That's what I thought." She grasped into his hair and dragged herself closer to him. He let one hand slid under her scrub top, stroked her stomach and then went further up.

"Is the door closed?" He muttered as he freed his mouth from hers.

"No, but they should knock." She whispered undoing his belt.

"Let's hope they'll knock." He said and then moaned as she suddenly slid one hand into his pants. He lifted her up, shoved away his paper work and put her on the table, she lay down. He too climbed on the table and bent down to kiss her passionately. He slid his tongue into her mouth and she moaned in response. She pressed her thighs against his and could feel his erection.  
Suddenly her pager went off.

"Seriously?" She groaned and read the message. "Oh crap, my patient crashed. Why couldn't he wait for another ten or fifteen minutes?"

"We'll finish this later." Owen kissed her again.

"Promise?"

"Promise! You better go now."

"Alright." With that she hurried away.

* * *

After surgery on her crashed patient Cristina was welcomed by Owen in the attendings' lounge.

"How was surgery?"

"Well he survived, but I was a little distracted by SOMEONE who kept kicking me!" Her voice got louder with the last words addressing her stomach. "And my feet are killing me right now." He embraced her.

"Let's get ourselves out of here."

"Yeah, I just change." She went where she had left her clothes in the morning, he followed her.

"I talked to Bailey today." He started. _That's a weird start… where's this going? _Cristina wondered.

"Okay… um what about?"

"I asked if she could cover up for me a few months as chief once the baby is born." That caught Cristina off guard, they hadn't talked about their working circumstances when the baby will be born yet. They had kept postponing it. She didn't know what she should say, so she remained silent.

"Cristina" he took her hand, "I know you don't want to talk or think about it: You will have to stay home for some weeks – whether you like it or not. We have to plan this somehow sometime." She knew he was right. She sighed and sat down rubbing her temples.

"Okay… but I'll work as long as possible."

"As long as you don't endanger our daughter's health or yours."

"Okay, okay. But I want to start work soon after the birth."

"I know and that's why I asked Bailey to cover up for me. You're staying home as long as you want to and then I'll take a leave until our daughter can be in daycare after some weeks or months – we'll see. I'm the chief of Surgery and you part-own this hospital – we can do this the way we want, we enjoy certain liberties, I think. We're gonna make it, right?"

"Right."

"But I won't bother you anymore today with those scaring thoughts of staying home." He chuckled teasingly.

"Just one thing" she had thought about it before and needed to tell him: "I would really prefer Caesarean section – I won't poop on the table!"

_**Like I said: I'm not satisfied with this chapter so I'll promise the next chapter will be better - more drama maybe. Expect it soon!**_


	24. 24th June - Sweet Child o' Mine

24th June

Owen intently watched Cristina as she held the pedals onto the patient's heart. She was 32 weeks pregnant now – for one second his eyes flitted to her stomach – yes, she was VERY pregnant now. She still worked but he had persuaded her to go on maternal leave on the 1st of July. The surgery they were just doing was probably too long for her, he was afraid, but she really could be very stubborn: She had insisted on scrubbing in pleading because it would probably be the last big one before the birth and he smiled when he saw how focused she now was.

"Charge to 10." She just commanded. "Clear." He and Dr. Murphy who assisted them raised their hands. He loved working with Cristina they were a great team – they barely needed to talk knowing what the other would do next. After a successful surgery they did together they would always be so joyful. Sure he has always loved his work, being a surgeon, but only if he was in surgery with Cristina and witnessed what a genius she had become her pure joy would spread to him. Meanwhile the patient's heart had not reacted.

"Charge to 20. Clear." Owen was sure Cristina had forgotten everything around her. He knew right now there was only her and this heart she was determined to revive. When she was like that, when she was that Cardio-Goddess she always wanted to be he truly adored her. The heart started to beat again and Owen – sighing in relief – concentrated again on fixing the damage in the lower abdomen. He shifted his weight a little and as he moved his feet he noticed a weird sound – a sound like he had stepped into something wet. He looked down and saw there definitely was a small puddle of a rather transparent liquid. _What the hell is that?_ He wondered and tried to make out the source of the liquid. Then he noticed Cristina's scrub pants were wet. In a split second he wondered if Cristina had wet herself – the surgery already took three hours and over the last weeks she needed to pee very often, because the baby often kicked her bladder – but then he realized it was way too much liquid for that and knew she wouldn't allow herself such a shame. He looked at her: She worked focused as always on fixing the patient's artery – she didn't seem to notice at all she was wet. To him there was only one coherent explanation: Her amnion was split. He knew he had to act at once without letting Cristina panic – he knew she would because she was afraid of the birth and everything that would come after that.

"Dr. Murphy, please page Dr. Russell and Dr. Kepner – at once!" He commanded calmly but determinedly.

"Sir? I thought I could-" Leah started to protest.

"Now!" He interrupted her. Cristina looked at him incredulously.

"What the hell are you doing? I told you this is my last surgery that's that long!" She gave him a furious look and kept working on the artery. The nurse and the anesthetist looked at him curiously as he took off his surgical mask.

"Cristina, please raise your hands and put down the needle, please. You have to trust me." He pleaded her. She gave him a scornful look but obeyed and turned to him. With horror he noticed there was also some blood running down her thighs. She must have noticed his terrified expression and also looked at her thighs. She raised her eyebrows.

"Why am I wet?" She didn't seem to understand.

"Cristina, we have to scrub out now, Dr. Russell and April are already in the scrub room. Come one, take my hand." She took it but remained where she was.

"Is … is this…?"

"Cristina" he took a deep breath, "this is amniotic fluid. We have to go. Now!" She still didn't move so he picked her up and carried her out. He felt the fluid wetting his scrubs.

"What happened?" April asked alarmed as she saw them.

"Split amnion." Owen informed her and hurried out with Cristina clinging to him. He could see fear growing in her eyes as she took off her surgical mask.

"Owen…" She muttered.

"I'm here, Cristina, I got you." He kissed her forehead. Finally they reached the gynecology wing.

"Where's Dr. Leoni? Page her!" He shouted at the first nurse he saw.

"I'm here, I'm here! What's up?" Mary left a patient's room to Owen's right side. "Oh, okay I see. Follow me." She added as she saw Cristina's wet legs. Owen followed her into the next examination room and put Cristina on the gurney. She immediately started stripping off her scrub pants. Owen took off her shoes and helped with pants and panties – it wasn't that easy because they were so wet. He had been right – there also was some blood he knew that was normal but he couldn't stop himself from worrying.

"I can't believe I didn't notice!" Cristina muttered.

"It's okay, you were focused." He tried to calm her while Mary examined her cervix.

"That focused? I'm starting to have contractions! I should have noticed that!" Now she shouted.

"Shh…" he tried to soothe her. "It's my fault I shouldn't have let you scrub in."

"Now, don't you dare to take the blame on you!" She firmly gripped his arm.

"Okay, Cristina" Mary interrupted them, they both stared at her anxiously. "I think you already know: Your amnion split. The baby is alright so far, no need to worry. I know you would have preferred Caesarean section but the baby is already so low and your cervix that wide – it's no longer possible without risks. I would recommend a natural birth, but it's still your decision." Cristina let her head fall back on the gurney.

"Okay" she sighed, "natural birth then."

Owen helped her change into a night gown and then wheeled her over to the delivery room. She lay down on the more comfortable bed and closed her eyes. Owen took her hand and caressed her cheeks. He wanted to calm her but he didn't know what to say because he was worried and excited himself, so he just tried to soothe her by touching her, being with her.

"I won't leave your side for only one second." He whispered into her ear and she squeezed his hand in response. As Dr. Leoni entered the room she opened her eyes again.

"How long do you think is this going to take? When will it start – I mean really start?" She gestured to her womb.

"It depends" Mary told her and examined her cervix again. "Your cervix is very wide already so it could be from one hour up to ten. But to me it looks like it's going to be rather quick."  
Cristina took a deep breath.

"Okay… um can I eat something? We were in surgery so it's been a while…" Owen chuckled lightly.

"Shall I get you something?" He offered.

"No! You just promised you wouldn't leave my side. I won't let you go now, I need you here! I just text Mer, she needs to know anyway. I think her surgery should be over by now." She took a look around. "Where's my mobile phone?" He also took a look around in search of his mobile.

"Oh I guess we left them in the OR. I'm afraid I need to leave you for a few minutes. I'll get our mobiles, I'll change into some dry clothes, get you something from the cafeteria and look if I can find Meredith, okay? I'll be right back."

"Okay, but hurry up!" And he did. He ran into Meredith after he bought bagels and some of her favorite chocolate for Cristina.

"Meredith, good that I find you! Follow me! Cristina's in labor." He already headed back to the delivery room, Meredith could hardly follow.

"She's in labor? But she's only in the 32nd week!"

"I know, but her amnion split, so there's no other way." He reached the delivery room.

"Hey, I'm back! I brought our mobiles, some bagels and chocolate, me in dry clothes and Meredith!" He told her out of breath.

"Hey Mer! Chocolate!? Great, I'm starving!" He handed her the food and let himself fall into a chair next to her bed.

"How are your contractions?" he asked.

"Oh don't mention that!" For one second her face was twisted in pain but then she distracted herself with chocolate.

"So you're going to give birth naturally?" Meredith asked incredulously.

"Leoni said it's less risky in this situation. So, yes." She said munching.

"Do you want me to stay?"

"No! I won't let you watch me poop on the table." Cristina said seriously, then her gaze turned to Owen. "I don't want you to watch me poop on the table either, to be honest." He laughed.

"Don't worry! I will sit behind your back and hold both of your hands – I wouldn't even notice." He tried to reassure her. She bit her lips the thought of that obviously made her uncomfortable, but she dropped it nevertheless.

"Do you have a name yet?" Meredith asked.

"Not yet." Cristina said. "Owen? Spit it out, I know you have something in mind!" _She knows me well._ He thought.

"You're right actually, I have something in mind. It's short, like you said you'd prefer, it's extraordinary, but not too much and it's not a name of somebody we know."

"Owen, my nerves are on edge! Please just tell me! The worst I can say is 'no'" She said annoyed. He wanted to say: _I know you can say much worse things than 'no'!_ But he knew better than to annoy her any further.

"Well I thought about 'May'." He said cautiously. "I think it sounds melodious and…" He trailed off and watched her reaction instead.

"May…" she muttered. "May Hunt sounds weird actually…"

"She could still be called Yang."

"I think 'May' is beautiful!" Meredith threw in.

"I think it's okay if Yang is her middle name. She then would be May Yang Hunt." She smiled at him he smiled back. "May" she repeated smiling but then her expression changed into pain.

"Contractions getting worse?" He asked, she just nodded.

"Mer" she addressed her through gritted teeth, "could you go to the fire house and get me some clothes and we also need some clothes for… May, we don't have any since I wanted to buy some when I would have been on maternity leave. Do you have some old clothes from Bailey and Zola?"

"Of course, but I'm sure they are way too big for um… May."

"It will work as a start, and I expect everyone of our friends to give us clothes as a present so I don't have to buy any. Now go!"

"Okay, okay! I'll be back later I want to tuck Zola and Bailey in before I come back. Take care of her!" She told Owen.

"I will." He reassured. Dr. Leoni entered the room again to examine Cristina's progress.

"How are you?" She asked her.

"Is this a trick question?" Cristina responded dryly.

"Okay this is starting to get serious. Owen, I assume you want to help as much as you can, so I want you to sit behind Cristina so she can lean against you and take your hands as a support. I expect bearing-down pains in at least half an hour." Owen climbed onto the bed like he was told to do. Cristina leaned against him and tightly gripped his hands.

"Owen, I'm… I'm…" Cristina looked anxiously at him.

"I know and you don't have to be. I'm here and you're tough. You're gonna make it. You can lean on me." He kissed her forehead. Twenty minutes later her bearing-down pains were in full progress. Her face was twisted in pain and she gripped his hands so hard and tightly he didn't know if he could ever feel his fingertips again. She moaned and grunted but never screamed. _Oh my god the most adorable and toughest woman in the whole world is just giving birth to my daughter!_ That thought made him feel dizzy.

"Okay just one more time." Mary assured. Cristina caught for breath.

"Owen?" She hissed.

"I'm here, right behind you. You're doing so great, Cristina! I love you. Just one more time. You can do it!" He encouraged her. She took a deep breath and pushed. Then she fell back against Owen and he held her tightly.

"You did it!" Mary exclaimed and took something small from between Cristina's legs. She cut the umbilical cord and Owen could hear a soft and very quiet cry. He thought he had never heard something that beautiful, it was like music. Mary wrapped her into a towel and handed her to them. Cristina held her in her arms and Owen supported her arms with his because she was weak of exhaustion. _May._ He thought as he looked at her and it truly was love at first sight. She had stopped to cry after she had been placed in her mother's arms and blinked up at them with her dark almond eyes. She had lots of black hair which was still damp. Her features were pretty much like Cristina's just like she had predicted, but they weren't as sharp as hers but a little softer – so far he could tell right then. She really was very small (after she was measured and weighed they found out she was 41 centimeters tall and weighed 1595 gram). She opened and closed her small mouth. _Maybe she's hungry_. Owen thought, Cristina had told him she had decided to breastfeed her because it was more practical and she could do that in between without preparing something.

"She is… beautiful." His voice cracked and he shed a small tear of joy. He kissed Cristina's of exhaustion sweaty neck while he kept watching May. Cristina still hadn't said anything. He wondered what she thought, what she felt. He forced his eyes away from May and to Cristina, who also watched her intently. He had never seen such an expression on her face, he wasn't sure what it was. May hiccupped and his eyes immediately wandered back to her.

"I…" Cristina finally softly started to speak. "I love her." She said with the love of a mother in her eyes.

_**Finally. Please tell me what you think of this chapter, I would really appreciate that. Do you think this would be realistic for Cristina and Owen? (By the way, I'm sorry I told weight and height in centimeters and gram - but that's what I calculate with.)**_


	25. This could be a Happy Ending

Hi guys, this is me – of course.

Well, I decided to call this story complete at this point...

…BUT (and this a very huge I'm-trying-to-catch-your-attention 'but') I will start a new story about Cristina, Owen and May's family life for all of you who are interested in reading about badass not-doing-sappy Cristina Yang (who I always try to write as in-character as possible) as a mother and never-thought-he-could-be-that-happy all-rounder Owen Hunt as a probably very sappy father.  
I'm planning to include a lot of fluffiness, maybe some lemons, maybe some drama and hopefully some humor.

For those of you who think it's enough and it's time to put an end to this: Here I go. Leave your final review to this, please. You don't have to read what follows. (You can leave a final review AND read what follows, of course!)

By the way: I'm always open to constructive critique and suggestions.

So now just keep an eye out for what I promised will follow – at least_ I_ want to get to know May. (By now I already uploaded it - check my profile to find it.)

A final thank you for all reviews so far for my first fanfic ever, loved you guys for those.

Yours, Filiola aka Katta


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